And There's More

[Rondy]

A computer has just matched me up with what it says is my perfect match.
A steak and ale pie.........
___

I went to the supermarket helpdesk and said to the assistant, "I've just bought some deodorant, and two bodyguards followed me back to my car, what's going on?".
He said "You've got 24 hour protection mate."
___
Me and the wife will be having roast beef on Sunday.
It was a joint decision.
___

Man went to the psychiatrist dressed like Admiral Nelson.
Man said, doctor, I keep thinking I'm Napoleon.
Doctor said, don't you mean Nelson?
Man said, No, I know I'm Nelson, I keep thinking I'm Napoleon.
___

[Tubbycoates]

Boring, not at all funny