Rainbow Baby

[barry1010]

This is a new one for me.  Our friend is very upset because her daughter is very upset and angry.

The daughter is expecting her first baby and somebody has referred to it, we don't know if it will be a boy or girl, as a rainbow baby and she didn't know what it meant.

It means a baby born after a previous pregnancy ended in miscarriage or stillbirth.  Supposedly an extra blessing.

She did have a late miscarriage three years ago and is angry and upset about this term.  She says every baby is a blessing, an individual and should not be burdened with such a label and implied expectations.  She is simply having a baby, not a substitute or compensation.

I sympathise with her and wondered if this is a common term.  How do you view it? 

[naomi24]

RH, I don't believe it is a generational thing.  The lady mentioned in the OP I would suggest is younger than you and she doesn't like it.  

[Lie-in King]

RH X - thank you for that, it's not a subject I've been keeping tabs on since I was directly involved.

It's one of the greatest sadnesses of my life that our lad didn't make it.

[Redhelen72]

LiK💖

[Ellipsis]

It seems to me that it diminishes the baby that was born alive after the baby that was born dead. But other people see it differently.  See for example ...

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/rainbow-baby

It is a rare birth when not a single friend or relative says something stupid or insensitive, in the mind of the new parent.  As I said earlier, their response is in their control.

[Old_Geezer]

I think she is overreacting to a term meant to refer to joy. But an individual feels however they feel, and if it upsets her then best avoid the issue.

[Lie-in King]

RH - I don't know emojis well enough, so just "thank you" X

Apologies to Barry for the small diversion.

[Peter Pedant]

now I work with girls who have had them and its treated totally different from when I had mine 20 years ago.

my mother had 7 pregnancies and 4 survivors

she was one of three that survived to 10 y

we talked about it  in terms of those days, a lot of children died.

[douglas9401]

I much prefer Highway Child to Rainbow, baby.