How To Find Where Someone Is Buried - Not Proving Easy.

[Smowball]

Trying to find where my mum is buried (long story).I know her full name, d.o.b and d.o.d, plus county she lived and died in.  I don't have her full last address or the date of funeral.....every site I look at for help wants me to join them, or asks for info that I just don't have. Am I missing an obvious other way??

[Smowball]

Ok, I really really didn't want to do this but think I've known you all long enough now........ I'm going thru tests etc to see if I'm showing signs of early onset dementia ..... 

I've already had the latest MRI brain scan results from last week and they are showing signs of  'brain disease/white matter', I've seen my doctor yesterday to discuss and he's not happy with what it's showing.

: (. Won't go into details yet as am too upset, and praying it's something else, but I cannot remember major events/things/ places I've been/ holidays. I can't even remember my own wedding...... not a thing. And one of these things I can't remember is my mums funeral. I know the day she died as I was sat with her, tho I only have about a 30 second memory of that. After that day I have nothing....... where the funeral was, or was it a cremation?? Did I even go?? I must have done..... just cannot bring myself to ask my sister as it sounds completely insane that I don't remember. 
There, I've told you all now xx

[Smowball]

And she died in Middlesex, I know that at least. 

[bednobs]

can youask your children - they are probably old enough to remember 2009, or may have even gne too?

[jno]

sorry to hear this, smow. This site or the one naomi posted might just help

https://billiongraves.com/

Also if you do a search on this site it should give you slightly more precise information about where she died, though it will probably only specify what part of Middlesex

https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/

You may have to sign up but they don't want money unless you want to order a certificate

[Smowball]

Ok, I've just asked the one person I didn't want to ask which is MrSmow, as I didn't want him to realise just how bad my memory was, but I have, and he knew the answer. Well, he doesn't remember er the exact date, but says she was cremated, and her ashes were given to my sister. And yes I was at the service, and the gathering afterwards with family etc, and no I have absolutely zero memory of it. : (

[Barsel]

Smow, I really don't want to make light of what you've told us, but I think it's probably quite common to forget some events in our lives.

I have no recollection of the day my Dad was cremated and that's why I went along to the crem to find out. I was hoping they would say he was buried so that I could visit his grave, so I was upset to be told he was cremated.

The only part I remember of my Mums creanation was when we drove past the care home where she spent the last few years of her life.

If you were to put this into Body and Soul, you would probably get more people who have experienced this.

I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to worry.

[Old_Geezer]

Best of luck with all your problems Smow. We're all routing for you.

[Barsel]

Do you feel better now you know what happened with your Mum?

[barry1010]

How long did you have to wait for the MRI, Snow?

[Barsel]

I look at it like this. Our brains can only retain so much information. Sometimes we have to make room for new info and so we have to lose some of the info we already have in there.

Well, that's the way I look at it. 😀

[Patsy33]

I can imagine the worry, smow. Sometimes people block things out for a reason. Hoping things won't be as bad as you anticipate. All the best x

[Smowball]

Thanku Barsel, oldgeezer & everyone else - ypuve no idea how much I appreciate it. We've all been on this site with each others questions, good & bad, and answers, also good & bad lol for a long long time now. 
Just things have got to a bit of a head this past week with just how bad it's become - last weekend we went to my in-laws for lunch & afterwards they put a Xmas film on. Not sure what it was but it involved this couple on the top of the Empire State Building in New York, in the snow. I turned round and said something like 'Oh I'd just love to go to New York, and do that as well as see everything else'. I could see everyone looking at each other, and picked up on it so I asked what was up? Turns out MrSmow and I DID go to New York just 5 years ago - fantastic flights there and back, amazing hotel, saw all the sites, did indeed go to top of the E.S.B - he showed me the hundreds of photos on his phone - and I don't have a single teeny memory of even a split second of it. Nothing. It's absolutely terrifying. 

[naomi24]

Smow, if you have a sister who was involved why don't you ask her?

[Barsel]

Our minds are very complex. Sometimes I remember something from the past and the person who was with me at the time. When I ask them do they remember, I am always surprised when they say they have no recollection of it.

I hope all turns out well with the results of the tests you are having, and as I said earlier, please try not to worry.x

[Countrylover]

Smow  my thoughts are with you.  Sometimes it's good to share with friends and you have a lot of friends on this site.  Your one of the loveliest ABers xx  Don't forget that extreme stress can affect your brain.  It certainly has in my case.  You've experienced so much stress in recent times.

[pastafreak]

A gentle hug to you Smow. Don't...please don't...keep Mr Smow in the dark. He should be your most trusted confident...he deserves to know. And you need to be able to share what ever the future holds.

If needed, make sure you push to get any and all treatment available...there's lots of info available. Educate yourself. 

 

[jno]

you sure did, Smow

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1581232.html

[Smowball]

See what I mean jno!! I have ZERO memory of it now! Not a thing. I'd like to blame alcohol lol but I'm tee-total these days as even just wine doesn't agree with my meds.

Thanku all so much for all the comments and sorry if I have missed anyone out. I have in the last couple of  hours spoken to MrSmow in detail about it all, I think he's a bit shocked and he doesn't really do emotions - he's a stiff upper lip kind of guy.

As for the MRI last week - it was put thru a priority one and I waited for less than a week I think.