There's More

[Rondy]

At this time of year I love sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine and listening to Christmas songs until I fall asleep.
Probably why I lost my job as a fireman.

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Went to my first meeting of the self-harm support group, but I got there late.
I could have kicked myself.

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My wife dressed up as Lara Croft and called me Brad.
Apparently 'tis the season to be Jolie.

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I went for a walk with the Proclaimers last week.
We just got back.

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It's been so cold in our house just lately that the toilet duck has flown south for the winter.

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Her: "good morning, can I help you"
Me: "I need to see the doctor"
Her: "What is your problem"
Me: "I have turned into a dot to dot picture"
Her: OK, let me see when I can pencil you in"

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I was given a jar of cherries in brandy, I was grateful not just for the cherries but for the spirit in which it was given!

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[Ken4155]

First one gave me a belly-laugh, Rondy. Ta for that😉

[Patsy33]

Great puns! 😁😆😅