Does The Truth Come Out When People Are Angry?

[bluefortress]

I have been moving house for the past few days. I suspected that parents helping me move might be a bad idea as they can't work together without shouting at each other. (They live together - are not divorced or anything) I was going to ask friends to help me but they insisted they would. I said to my mum beforehand (as I know she shouts easily) that the important thing is for us all to stay calm as moving is going to cause stress so we need calm. 
 

Anyway my fears came true, almost every piece of furniture we lifted, involved my dad making a fuss of everything and my mum reacting with yelling. At one point she told him that she wished he would drop dead. 
 

The next day I sensed she was getting angry again so I suggested she said a break, she yelled 'I don't want a f- ing break' I told her not to shout at me and she told me to F off.
 

When I got home later she told me that I'd caused an argument between her and my dad in the car (but she wouldn't tell me how I'd caused it) She said 'our marriage was ok u til you came along, you ruined everything'

She is being ok with me now but I secretly find words hard to forget. Do I just class it as a heat of the moment comment or does truth come out when people are angry? I mean I appreciate their help but it often brings stress. 

[Old_Geezer]

All sorts of things come out when someone is angry. Truth can be, so can exaggeration, so can false hurtful things in the belief that attack is the best defence. Nothing much is worth trusting.

 

Best thing is probably to forget it. Brooding ain't going to help.

[scorpiojo]

I couldn't forget something like that, and I don't think being angry or stressed gives people an excuse to say such things.

Have you told her how hurt you are?

[lankeela]

Try looking for a mature way to manage your frustrations.

[bluefortress]

This is exactly what my whole family need to do lankeela.
 

Obviously I'm not perfect but I do manage to stay calm when angry, something I've tried to encourage my mum to do. Just because you disagree or feel angry doesn't mean you have to shout. My family don't seem to grasp this.
 

On the other hand maybe I wind people up quietly with my mannerisms or something I don't know

[scorpiojo]

..and maybe you don't (wind people up), and it's just how they are.

[bluefortress]

It maybe that it's just how they are Scorpia I can't imagine them changing. It's as though my mum needs to have these shouting anger outbursts because after them she appears relaxed and goes back to being civilised again. 
 

She's not really one for discussing/analysing situations she will get defensive or tell me to let it drop/stop going on. 

[calmck]

Are you moved in yet? When you are send your mother some flowers and something for your father. Thank them for helping you and say you will invite them in when you are organised