A Few More For You.

[Rondy]

I read in the newspaper a tip to use Vodka for cleaning around the house.
I must say it really works too, the more Vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked.

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I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the cubicle next to me started smoking...
It was so disgusting I nearly couldn't finish my sandwich!

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Wife: "You hate my relatives!"
Husband: "No, I don’t!, in fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine."

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If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to share it with everyone on here.
Not the money. I'm just going to tell all of you that I won.

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I've just seen a movie about the life of Chubby Checker.
There's a fantastic twist at the end.

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I've installed a water-slide in my office to put job candidates at their ease during interviews.
It's a case of Chute first, ask questions later.

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I've failed my ventriloquism exam.
Personally I'm gutted, and as for my dummy .....well, I can't speak for him.

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Me: Where do I find books on celebrities obsessed with motor racing?
Librarian: They're under star disorders.

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[fourteen85]

the second one strikes a memory, I worked in the food industry until retirement, In one of the places I worked a guy was seen eating a sandwich whilst stood at the urinal. instant dismissal. 

[Khandro]

Great! (but I'm still laughing at the Kiwi fruit ). 😂

[Hopkirk]

Kiwi fruit?

[Khandro]

Tell him Rondy

[Patsy33]

So funny! 😆

[Patsy33]

So funny! 😆

[zebo]

The last one's the pits.

[Hopkirk]

I demand the kiwi fruit joke.

[Hazlinny]

@Hopkirk.  Just type kiwi in search panel .....  2nd March

[Hopkirk]

Thanks Haz