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Can't Stop Dwelling

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barry1010 | 09:15 Sat 09th Mar 2024 | Body & Soul
17 Answers

I read the most disgusting, horrific news report that made me physically sick - I'm not tickle tummed and can't remember the last time I was sick.

Now it keeps popping in to my head without me actively thinking about it or anything related to it.  Again, this isn't like me and I don't know how to deal with it.  It's even causing bad dreams.

When it does come to mind I think about something else but it still leaves me feeling a bit off.  I've had to deal with some very bad things in real life but they were things I could and had to do deal with, I had to do something about them.  I can do nothing about this news report.

Any advice on how to get rid of this is welcome.

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Barry, I'm so sorry that the news report you read has affected you in this way.

Sometimes I purposely avoid reading things if I can tell by the headline what the contents might be.

I read something yesterday that upset and angered me, and I wish I could do something about it but even comments were not allowed, so I had to keep my emotions under control. It was on my mind as soon as I woke up this morning.

Eventually, it will hopefully fade from your mind but just wanted you to know I understand how you are feeling.

Unsure that I can say much more than to give it time.

When thoughts of it arise, accept & acknowledge them,  and then find something else to think about & distract you. If you avoid as much emotional response to it as possible then the mind will bring it up less often as it then appears to be a thought doesn't seem to capture your attention any more.

I think we will all have suffered this type of feeling sometimes, Barry, but only momentarily - not knowing the content of the news report you mention, it is difficult to offer advice.  Just concentrate on your many interests - maybe when you are feeling bad, play some soothing music.  

Question Author

Thanks for all the comments, I do feel as I'm being rather self-indulgent with this but it seems to be beyond my control.

Give me the strength to deal with things that I CAN change,

And the strenghth to accept but not dwell upon those things that I cannot.

Wisdom will allow you to know the difference.

I tried using the above phrase when I tried obsessionally (if that's a word) thinking and worrying about things.

Good luck, being Bipolar I have been at war with my brain for 30+ years.  It is a powerful enemy.

 

 

You are not being self indulgent. You have an emotional reaction to something which has distressed you deeply. You feel what you feel. It can't be washed over. It will fade over time. Until then try to dwell on the positive things in your life. 

Barry, get those Belafonte records on again.

Just do as many other things as you can and try to think of all the good things in your life.

Is this why you were feeling low yesterday?

I know the feeling Barry - and I might even know of what it is that upset you. 😪

Meditation is a technique of clearing the mind of all thoughts - stopping that flow of constantly appearing thoughts and images by pushing them aside as they appear, keeping only one image in your mind's eye such as a burning candle. 

It has been likened in Buddhism to that of an elephant with a constantly chattering monkey sitting on it's back which has to be quietened.  In your case it's an image which won't go away.

If all else fails listen to something beautiful for a few minutes, like this;

 

Khandro, I love that piece of music.

https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/

Have you heard of EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.  

It sounds daft, but it works, and is used by psychiatrists to treat and eliminate symptoms of post traumatic stress in war veterans. 

Basically, it is a technique by whic you deliberately think of the thing that upsets you, whilst focusing on a moving object, such as your finger, and moving your eyes rhythmically to follow the object.  

Above is a link to the information.  There is also loads of information available if you google EMDR.

Hope this helps  

Question Author

Thanks for the great suggestions and the support.  

I'll be trying the EMDR, I already practice yoga and meditation, have done for years.  Still can't stand on my head though 

//Still can't stand on my head though //

After all that breakdancing you used to do?

I can't get my feet up that high either.

 

Plus I drop like a stone when I lift my feet off the ground.

O

I can only echo the advice you have received.  I do understand your reaction. Time plus focus  on positives helps.

Question Author

Thanks, jourdain

a friend of mine praises EMDR, which has helped her deal with long-ago abuse. I don't understand how; but she's tried it and I haven't.

Prince Harry too

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/may/21/emdr-what-is-the-trauma-therapy-used-by-prince-harry

again, he's undergone trauma and I haven't.

terrible - trauma of being in the Royal family - so horrendous I cannot even start to empathise

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