'They' Is Irritating Me Immensely

[barry1010]

Police appeal for missing person shows a photo of a 25 year old 'manly' man named Alec. Police say they need to know that 'they' are okay.

One man is missing. Stop mangling language 😡

[Untitled]

English has never been an "officially governed" language in the way that French or i think mandarin chinese are. english is however people use it and always has been... it is one reason why it has endured as one of the world's dominant languages and will do for the foreseeable future. if you don't like how other people use pronouns then you can sit in a corner and cry about it. nobody is interested and it simply isn't important. 

[naomi24]

Just as you are going to have to lump it when others acknowledge biology and use the perfectly correct terms 'he' or 'she'.

[Untitled]

i'm not the one making whiney threads about it am i

[naomi24]

No, but you're whining.

[davebro3]

You know what I don't care about - Alec!

[Untitled]

"No, but you're whining."

that's the pot calling the kettle black!

[naomi24]

I'm not complaining about the thread, untitled.

[Khandro]

For want of finding anything worth watching on Netflix, we're watching a box (ed?) set of the excellent Judge John Deed which was made 2001-2006. 

The strange thing is, that so many of the main female protagonists have names which sound like men's;  Jo, George, Charlie, Sam.

I seem to remember that 20 years ago that was quite fashionable. I don't know if it still is or what it was all about. Anyone? 

 

[DDIL]

Good Morning,

I am failing to understand how the use of 'they' is so irritating.

I pride myself at reaching a certain age and being able to say I honestly do not care how people refer or wish to have others refer to them.

Does it affect me in any way ? No! Does it cause me any effort? No!

How would you react if your children asked to be referred to as 'they'?

[barry1010]

I would refer to my (very grown up) children by name. 

[jackthehat]

Referring to someone as 'they' is not as teeth-gnashingly annoying as referring to an obvious man as 'she'.

 

[barry1010]

It irritates me in the same way as using loose instead of lose; to istead of too; of instead of have. 

I have no problem with referring to anyone as he or she but I will repeat the point I have already made on this thread.

If I am told that Joe said they want to stay to dinner, it is not clear how many people want to stay to dinner.  Just Joe or Joe and Joe's friends?

[naomi24]

//How would you react if your children asked to be referred to as 'they'?//

 

Hopefully any child of mine would have more sense.

[DDIL]

Good Afternoon Naomi,

I have a nephew who has requested that we call them they and not refer to their gender.

It is not a problem, the only family member that has a problem is out batty old Great Aunt Tilly but then she had a problem with anyone who isn't CofE and white.

[naomi24]

DDIL, Your penchant for 'respect' doesn't extend to Aunt Tilly then.

[DDIL]

Naomi24, I have so much respect for my Great Aunt.  Far more than it would seem than you do for your fellow wo(man)kind.

[barry1010]

DDIL, you have referred to your relative by gender - nephew is gender specific. 

[DDIL]

Barry1010, as I was explaining the issue to a few faceless individuals on the WWW, I felt it was necessary.

We are all allowed slips occassionaly are we not?  What I don't understand is the absolute mistrust and anti feelings shown against those that don't meet the social 'norm'.

[naomi24]

DDIL, oh yes, great respect - and yet because she has standards you don't agree with you refer to her as 'batty'.

[barry1010]

I don't feel distrust nor have 'anti-feelings' for anyone who is different from the norm with the proviso that they are not intent on causing harm to others - such as paedophiles, murderers or rapists.  I don't consider them normal.

If Jill wants to be call Jack and have radical surgery, that's fine by me.  I couldn't care less what consenting adults get up in a private space.

There has always been transgender people, transvestites, lesbians, gays, bi, assexual, gender neutral and every other possibility - it is nothing new.  

I had great sympathy for Julia Grant when I watched her documentary series in the late 1970s, I read her biography when it came out in the 90s and have taken an interest in her life ever since.  I was saddened to hear of her death.

I don't believe any man has the right to compete in women's sports just because he changes his name from Norman to Norma and declares himself a woman.

I have talked to all my female relatives and friends about transgender women using the ladies toilets and none of them are concerned about it - if they behave like women and don't do or say anything deliberately to make them uncomfortable, which has happened on occasion.

I will reiterate - what irritates me is the clumsy use of 'they'.  It jars me.  There must be a better alternative.  I need a word that I can use if I want to attract the attention of a stranger.  I grew up calling 'sir, madam, miss, mate' as appropriate.  'Hey you' doesn't seem right.