And There's More

[Rondy]

NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to all the aliens.
They are calling it 'Apollo G'

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I came so close to winning the lottery jackpot on Saturday.
My next door neighbour won it.

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I failed my driving test for looking in the mirror too much.
I was only checking the sports pages.

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The government wants to ban tube trains, but that will just drive them underground.

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I went for a blood test, the Doctor said "The results don’t look good.”
I said "Oh god, why?” ....He said "The printer ran out of ink.”

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Did you know, If you carefully file down the edges of a 50 pence coin you can use it as a 10p..

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My son's at university studying violin and accountancy.
He'll never be out of work, - an accountant on the fiddle.

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I'm looking to buy an old disused lighthouse.
You know, nothing too flashy.

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[Old_Geezer]

Are NASA planning to pay them compensation (using public money) ?