Aromatic and graphic colleague

[NikkiB]

Any ideas on what to realistically do about a colleague who smells bad? "J" has foul body odour like pungent old onions. Despite her good salary she appears to wear the same garments for days on end. Every time she passes me I want to gag. Many of us have brought her into conversations about perfume and deodorant and even pass around a cosmetic catalogue. J claims that she can't be bothered with "all that soap or beauty stuff". A further complication is that she is extremely forthright and pro-active. Her attitude is often of the ****-you variety. She likes battles and litigation. Apparently every year the Secret Santa gift she recieves is always wash stuff which she claims sets off her asthma. This asthma doesn't stop her smoking like a chimney, though. At lunctimes she will loom over me with her nicotine and onions aroma and ask what I'm eating or surfing for. It so puts me off my food that I now spend 15 minutes out of a 30 minute lunchbreak walking to the canteen and back. I don't hate her as a person. She can be bright and entertaining but I find myself less keen on conversing with her because of the aroma. Another problem is that she often gives out unwelcome and highly detailed info on her bowel movements and monthly and post monthly emissions. One workmate spoke to her about that and J continues in an even worse vein, probably as part of her "****-you" stance. She has a false tooth attached to a plate and sometimes takes it out after eating and shows the gammy mess that's built up. It may fascinate her but why after nearly 50 years on this planet does she not realise that no-one else is interested?

[Dassie]

Do you have a Human Resources dept at work. If so I suggest you tell them about the problem and ask them to intervene. Otherwise your boss.

If not just tell her straight that she smells and you have no wish to hear about her "details". She will probably be more embarrassed than you. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and if she takes offence think of the positive side - she probably won't come near you/talk to you again I

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, NikkiB , i think your being a little hard on her. I think this lady is a very lonely and sad person. I dont think she will have a partner, and i think she lives at home alone. I think she has that attitude because she is hurting inside. She probably sees everyone else with a good life, and probably sees you and your lifestyle as someone she would like to be. This makes her angry inside and although she might give off the impression that she doesnt care about anything, i think she does. Maybe she has grown bitter and twisted because of something that has happened in her life. Why not take the time to try and have conversations with her and let slip about the things you hate about her as a joke. But if you dont want to make friends with her then just write stuff about her in the toilets...

[lindapinda]

You have all my sympathies.I've also had to work with people that absolutely stank,but to have this along with her type of forceful character,must be a nightmare! I would approach your supervisor or boss.It is their job to take her aside and point out that it is not ok to behave as she is doing,either with the body odour or the inappropriate conversations! Yuk!..I hope the situation improves!

[janetsflower]

I worked with a woman many years ago who was extremely smelly. As we worked in a mainly male environment my boss told me to tell her because he thought it would be better coming from another woman. I don't think i went about it in a very good way but i was only 20 and she was about 50, I said something "I haven't noticed anything myself (HUGE lie) but comments are being made about you having a body odour problem and i thought you would want to know incase you might want to do something about it". It was the hardest thing I ever did especially as she threw an absolute wobbly at me and i ended up in tears but it did have the desired effect and whilst she stilll smelt kind of musty like her clothes weren't very fresh the BO problem improved greatly. What ever you decide to do good luck. Maybe you could send her a letter, anoymous if you feel safer. Sometimes you do have to be cruel to be kind