My Ex-Partner Wants To Follow Me - Why?

[Dusty Bin]

During the past 12 months, I have moved from Scotland to Northern Ireland to be closer to my family and friends. I had been living with my ex-partner in his hometown with our child but after the breakdown of our relationship he moved out and I struggled to cope, so I wanted to move back home across to Belfast. He then took me to court to try and prevent me taking our child with me, but a judge decided in my favour and I have now moved back to Belfast and under the court order he gets to spend a number of days each month with his child. After initially lodging a motion to appeal the judge's ruling, he has now decided to withdraw the appeal stating that he is intending to move to Northern Ireland and wants shared care of our child. I have since started a new relationship and this new move by my ex-partner is disturbing me. I appreciate my ex-partner wants to see more of his child, but I don't trust him at all and fear there is other motivation behind his latest move. What could it be?

[Old_Geezer]

Without knowing him it is difficult to say, but his given reason is valid. How would you feel if he had custody and you were alway far away ?

[barry1010]

Good for him for wanting to be involved in his son's life.  It's better if you can both be at least civil.

Maybe he wants to follow you as a way of opening up a safe line of communication.

If you're uneasy with it, block him 

[barry1010]

Oh, follow you to NI, not online.

He wants to be part of his child's life. 

[davebro3]

I worked with a guy in Lancs who got a work transfer up to Scotland to be near his ex wife & children. It's quite natural as long as there are no ulterior motives.

[Dusty Bin]

It's the ulterior motives that I am worried about! Our relationship broke up for a reason - he's not a nice person. Although I appreciate he wants to be closer to his child, as I would want to be were it the other way around, to want to move to Northern Ireland leaving behind all of his family and friends in Scotland was never something he suggested even when our relationship was breaking down and I told him that I missed my family and friends back home in Belfast. I am very suspicious about this change of intention.

[Old_Geezer]

The only thing you can do is be wary. Folk are assumed innocent until proven guilty. Make sure you keep you & yours safe, and monitor how it goes.  Maybe express your doubts to your new partner to give you reassurance.

[Dusty Bin]

Oh, you can be assured that I am wary alright! My new partner doesn't trust my ex either and we both think he's up to something, but we don't know what.

[barry1010]

Of course your new partner doesn't trust your ex, they never do.  No doubt you've told him all about the bad times you had with your ex

[douglas9401]

It's a fairly common scenario. 😏

 

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Law/Question1818313.html

[calmck]

I take it you were not married. You need to apply to court to determine which of you has parental custody and exactly what this covers. Visitation rights need to be put in place as does a support order. The custodial parent will have to consent to the child being taken out of the country of residence for holidays or a "ward of court" order is required. Do not make it difficult with visitation as this could be held against you. You need a family lawyer to assist you asap

[Hazlinny]

Are you writing this post for someone else and not about yourself?

[Old_Geezer]

Same poster, doug

[douglas9401]

Aye, variations on a theme.

[calmck]

Yes. I offered same advice on previous post. Ah well we have tried to offer advice, many probably from experience

[Dusty Bin]

I do alreadyhave a family law solicitor and thanks to my parents helping me out by using their life savings and beyond covering his fees, we were able to convince the judge that it made sense for me to move home to Belfast with our child. I thought that was it until my ex-partner made his move to appeal the decision, which he is now withdrawing while simultaneously seeking shared care. 
 

@Hazlinny - yes I am indeed, for my daughter.

[Peter Pedant]

No No No ( mrs Thatcher)

tell him to txt or email

[Peter Pedant]

erm if you  are lawyered up, then as the average mod ( no I wont say who bears the torch) why are you asking us?

You wil have extensively ( and expensively) unburdened yourself to a lawyer who will do as you direct

does he have a right to follow? no so long, as I suggest, there is a way to communicate