Thoughts

[maggiebee]

My son-in-law's niece is getting married next April. This is his brother's only daughter.  She is marrying her partner of 2 years who also happens to be female.  "For religious reasons" my son-in-law and my daughter will not attend the wedding.  As an elder in the Church of Scotland it apparently goes against all their beliefs.  I feel this is going to cause a family rift. Personally I have no objections, my feeling being that if they are happy and want to share the rest of their lives together then let them get on with it.  Any thoughts?

[Patsy33]

A difficult one for son in law & wife. Maybe he could write a letter explaining this conscientious decision but wish them well in their future together.

 

[naomi24]

If they're going on holiday that's their excuse.  Their religious objections need not be mentioned. I hope though, that their objection to the union doesn't prevent them from socialising with the newlyweds in future.  That really would create a rift in the family.

[barry1010]

'Bigot' is not nasty name calling. The definition is 'a person with strong immovable beliefs, intolerant of people with different beliefs or lifestyles'.  This couple clearly fits that description.

Some people with strong religious are bigots; many aren't 

[jackthehat]

Same-sex marriages cannot be conducted in a church and nothing 'religious' is allowed to be contained therein, either - hymns/readings, etc.

The neice will probably be aware that her uncle and aunt disapprove and are therefore unlikely to attend - their religiosity is unlikely to be any secret and I suspect that they have made their views on same-sex marriage widely and loudly known.

Hopefully, the neice and her partner will be too happily concentrating on those prepared to join in and share their special day to spare any thoughts for those unable to put aside their rigid views.

If there are repercussions further down the line, the uncle and aunt will just have to accept their part in the matter.

[Ellipsis]

> they are quite a close knit family and he loves his niece

That's potentially the bigger problem ... a wedding is just one day. But a couple of lesbians living their life as a married couple is an ongoing problem for the pair of bigots to have to deal with.

[naomi24]

I don't agree that they're bigots.  Bigotry as I understand it is an unreasonably obstinate rejection or criticism of something or someone.  Colour prejudice is a good example.  There is no logic to that.  These people have what they consider to be valid reasons for objecting to the union and if asked they could doubtless tell you what those objections are.  They're not bigots.

[Ellipsis]

If this couple wants to stay a close knit and loving family, the marriage is the best time to change their own attitudes to other people's lifestyles. It's their choice, and it is a choice. If they choose not to go to the wedding, then that has ongoing implications to the close knit and loving family. But it's their choice.

[albaqwerty]

I feel sorry for them. There's too much hatred and nastiness and evil in this world and they can't attend a celebration of love outwith a religious setting because of their religious beliefs.

Is there any logic or are they barking mad?

[maggiebee]

Thank you for all your "thoughts".  This has not been an easy decision but they feel very strongly about same sex marriages and I have to respect that. Son-in-law is going down to Glasgow to have a chat with his brother early in the New Year to explain. 

[Vagus]

That's such a shame, for all parties involved.

We used to know a couple, not the slightest bit religeous, who found the very thought of a same sex relationship totally abhorrent. They used to make disparagingly jokes and remarks whenever the subject came up, to the point we let our 'friendship' with them lapse.

I hope the happy couple have a long and very happy marriage 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

 

[elliemay1]

Is your daughter just as resolute in her views as her husband?

[maggiebee]

Not 100% sure elliemay but she will always stand by him and present a united front.  

[Maydup]

They have done the right thing by staying away but they should not make a trip to explain way as the point has already been made. Advise them not to drum it home but decline gracefully  and be on holiday.

If I were the couple getting married I would be pleased they've booked a fair distance between them and the happy wedding.