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My Mum Is Angry That I'm Not Interested In Family From The Past
My mum decided to bring out some photos from the past again. I have always felt disconnected from family because I grew up without family as they all died when I was a very young child or simple the few I had were 300 miles away whom I saw about twice a year. Not one family member made any effort to visit me as a child or want to get to know me, so I grew up without a family network. She screams at me for not taking interest in her family, her grandparents, aunts, her uncles etc, in photos, whom she grew up with from her past. Am I bad? She says I'm cold. I've seen these photos many times before anyway.
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.The people in the photos are important to your mother and each one will stir memories, good and bad.
Your lack of interest in the photos makes her feel you have no interest in her, memories or her life. It makes her feel rejected.
We spend hours with our oldsters looking at old photos of family, street scenes, places familiar to them, old cars and motorbikes, toys and old household items. Anything and everything from their younger times.
Treacle, don't forget your attitude may change. When I was a teenager I wasn't terribly interested in previous generations and then years ago during a bad winter, a water pipe burst and destroyed thousands of photographs. Now, when my interest of my families past history has risen, there are no photographs and those who might have remembered are dead.
I also believe you've said you're in your 50s and by now you should be mature enough to know sometimes we all have to grit our teeth and do things for our elderly parents. Some aren't even lucky enough to have parents to show them memories, some people have to deal with the heartbreak of dealing with parents who don't even recognise them anymore......
It's not like you have a full on social life, look at the photos with her and pretend to be interested, demonstrate your 'good soul'. I'll add there's a fair chance that one day after she's gone you will kick yourself for not asking more about your family history.
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