Here's A Few More.

[Rondy]

Some scumbags have nicked our tree.
Bring back the birch I say !!!!

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I don't normally fart in burger king but when I do it's a whopper!

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Last night l slept with the bedside light on, people may think that's weird, but it makes a lovely hat.

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Went to the post office the other day and asked the cashier, "Do you have any 1st Class Stamps?"
I'll see," she said, got out of her chair, and went out the back.
When she returned, I said, "Well, did you have some?".
I must have stared at her through the screen for about 2 minutes before she lifted up a piece of paper that read "AISLE C"

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People keep talking about the apocalypse like it is the end of the world.

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I went for a job managing a football club in Sheffield.
They asked when I could start, I said, "I can't manage Wednesday."

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Today's Top Tip .
If your considering trying out Cross Country Running, Start with a Small country first..

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I saw a sign at a restaurant that said: “Shoes must be worn."
I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.

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My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong we went out for some tea and biscuits.
It was quite exciting, as she's never given blood before.

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[Patsy33]

So funny!..😁😆😅

[bookbinder]

Some good ones there! I particularly liked the last one!

Keep 'em coming!