In a dilimma!

[hightower]

I have a (2yrs old) daugther, Who i love to bit. she make's me laugh with the thing's she do's and say's, I'll do anything to keep her happy and safe. Her mum has fit's sometime with out warning and drop's to the floor, It scare's are daugther and she scream's shoutting mummy. I try to comfort her, And try to help her mum throught her fit. It's hard trying to explain to my 2yrs old it's ok, mummy will be alright. But it's started to put a lot of pressure on me now, My 2yr old has started to stay close to me. I can't do much around the house, I can't even go to work. Because i keep thinking if she will be ok, ( I've tryed getting help, but her mum think's i don't trust her and we start shoutting. and that's no good for are 2yr old). And i can't carry on being with my daugther's mother, But i don't want my daugther to be with her. She shout's at her and dosen't spend time with her, And i know her mum will take are daugther with her if i tell her it over. So i don't know what to do now, (HELP!)


I have three more older children from my second partner.

[oldwoman]

Hello Hightower what drug is she on. I might not be of much help, but I have lived with epilepsy for the past 29 years( my daughter) and know how desperate you feel.

[redcrx]

you sound as if you have 2 issues here and are confusing them.
A) you are worried of the effect your partners fits will have on your child. This needs to be discussed calmly with your partner and perhaps a GP or nurse can give advise on how to explain things to your daughter. Did your partner suffer from this condition before you had a daughter, surely you discussed the issue then if she did.
B) you appear to want to get out of the relationship and feel that your partner is not being a good mother. Why is that? Do you want out because you cant cope with her illness? Is your partner finding it hard to cope? perhaps she feels pressured by you or the arguments following her illness.

Could you ask for counselling to resolve these issues one way or another? Surely you need to try to sort this for the sake of your daughter and if possible keep your family together.

[hightower]

Redcrx, hi. I have no issues, or confused. The fits my partner has only make are daughter is it upset her a bit, Then she it OK again.
My partner has suffered fits from the age of 4yrs old,( Her mother let her put her face to close to the TV screen). my partner has learned to cope with them, But she ignores the advise she is given from the hospital and her GP sometimes. I have supported her through H.M.S and 5yrs with her fits, I've tried hard to understand what she is going through and help her. I try not to argue with her in front of are daugther because of upset her as well, I've tried telling her to go seen someone about her illness. She sayed she with but she dose'nt do anything, I'm trying to make this relationship work, But it is tho she dosen't the way she talk's to me and my other 3 children over the past few years. She wasn't like this when i meet her 5yrs ago she was very loving. I'm stress of it.

[redcrx]

i meant that you are talking about 2 different things and are mixing the 2 together. One moment you are saying that your daughter cant handle her mothers fits and then that you want to leave your wife and take your daughter away because she shouts at her.

What exactly are you asking here? How to deal with it and stay? or how to leave? or how to gain custody?

[hightower]

I'm sorry if i am confusing you with this, But this is how its sending me, and my life.

What I'm trying to say is that my partner, she likes to play head games with me, If we split up she will take are daughter away. and i will never see her again. And i don't want that,
I've tried to help my partner with her illness but she just keep switching off from me. And telling she's ok. She just keeps put she self at risk all the time, and its driving me mad.

[redcrx]

If you really want to leave your wife then you need to discuss this with a solicitor and get advice on access to your child
If you think that you would like to sort this so that you can live as a family without the trouble then you need to discuss this with her and make her understand how this is effecting you.
could it be that she may be suffering a kind of depression and finding it hard to cope?

[hightower]

she willn't tell me anything no more, she pretends to listen to me and then just turns off again. and she never sits down to sort the problems we have. She thinks that shes doing nothing wrong, and just Carry's on. I've tried to tell her what its doing to us, but to no avail. I'm i fighting a lossing battle here,?

[redcrx]

theres no way we can say why she wont listen, we can only come up with possible reasons, you have to then see if theres any way you can help you and her.