maintainence

[counsellor]

my hubby has a 18 years old daughter whose mother still wants maintainance when the kids on the dole and doing a job seekers course, it was a private agreement and not through the csa, does he still have to pay?

[Pippa68]

I wouldn't have thought so, considering maintenance is generally calculated up until a child leaves full time education.

If the 18 year old is on JSA surely they don't need maintenance!

[divegirl]

Hi, I would assume the above answer to be legally correct, but what about on a moral level. I take it that his daughter is still living with her mother and as such the measley amount she would be being paid [on her course] is being subsidised by her mother by way of food , housing and gas/electricity etc. Parental responsibility goes way beyond the age of 18 and just because he doesn't live with his family does not exclude him morally from caring for his daughter.

Lisa

[Pippa68]

I agree with you, Lisa.

Maintenance shouldn't be paid per se, however I am in total agreement that your kids don't stop needing some financial help along the way ~ helping with expenses is different to full time maintenance, and a different formula is needed.

The money already earned/received should most certainly be taken into account too.

[whiffey]

If there are any tensions (there often are), then he could give money direct to his daughter.

[Whickerman]

I agree with Whiffey - at 18 any money should be given direct and she can pay rent etc to her mum.
But she should really be either in education or actively looking for a job at that age...

[charmed24]

NO.NO.NO
you legally your husband does not need to pay a penny for his child who is out of full time education. as for the moral side of things i would say that yes when his child needs financial help please do help ( if important) but surely just handing over monies to her every week only encourages her to be lazy and not strive for work , making her evermore dependant on her parents which surely is the opposite of our job as parents

[Carol Anne]

If she still has to be subsidised by her mother then it's only fair that dad continues to pay too.

[Beanmistriss]

It seems a bit harsh that the mum might have to do all the subsidising but on the other hand if her mum lets her live there on the dole till she's 30 will she still expect maintainance? I definatly think that the money should not be paid directly to the daughter tho, cos if shes getting money anyway there will be smaller incentive to go to work.

[sogudsam]

my boyfriend still pays maintenance and mortgage to ex wife
he has two children 22 years and 19 years both at university. he tried to stop maintenance as agreed by the court when his youngest left sixth form (ie full time education) she went to her solicitor who got an "independant" judges opinion who said FTE is when the youngest leaves university. this cant be right can it? also the house can be sold then. he is not saying he does not want to support them but he would give the money directly to them not the mother.

[counsellor]

my only arguement is that the mother is on the dole and has been since she left school and the daughter lies and is a bit of a tealeaf!

[divegirl]

Charmed.... the young lady in question is on a training scheme, so can hardly be called lazy! Counsellor, if there is a problem with the mother, follow the advice from Whiffey [sort of] and try to come to some sort of arrangement where as the monies are paid to the child, maybe your partner could consider setting up a savings account for his daughter where the money can only be accsessed by mutual consent for necessities....

Lisa x

[charmed24]

divegirl..... the young lady in question is hardly on a training scheme she is on a job seekers course which she would be required to do in order to recieve her benifit which means she has obviously been out of work for some time, it seems to me that they have both been handed money from benifits on a regular basis since the day the girl in question was born money id like to add that comes from your and my taxes if that is not laziness then please let me know what is.? Giving them more regular payments from counsellors husband will only encourage there behavour.

[counsellor]

thanks for your answer charmed .... your so right, its so frustratg ive worked since i was 15!

[divegirl]

Cool....so the absent father gets away with it again.

[charmed24]

divgirl.......The absent father is hardly getting away with it he has paid through the nose for years for a woman who obviously has taught her daughter to sit on her backside claiming benifits, you live in a completely different world if u think that a grown woman should expect hand outs rather than stand on her own 2 feet

[Awesome Chic]

1st visit to this site, my husband has paid csa from the yr dot, both his daughters went on to further full time education, and 1 ended up in a fairy shop, the 2nd daughter serving in a news agent, my husband has paid two years full time education, and this was the end result, we have struggled having a12yr old daughter and bills, and , now the eldest one has asked for money for her wedding in June2007,it has caused a rift as they never get in touch no xmas cards/birthday.annd the x wive worked full time and never so say put a penny into their accounts,wiith csa/child benifit tax credits lowhousing rent & fulltime work, ?they were raking in a tidy sum each month meanwhile we rely on overdraft to keep afloat. What i say to the above letter get of your ass & stop being a sponger all your life (parrasite0 are a pet hate.......................

[counsellor]

awesome chic... you really are... so on my wave length... thanks ever so.....

[snodhutch]

My husband's ex wife requested that my husband did not see their son from before he was a year old because she wanted to bring the child up believing her new partner was his father. My husbands maintenance payments were arranged through the courts before the csa was in existance. Even though the ex wife was living with another man in a house twice the cost of ours and earning more than my husband he had to pay child maintenance until his son was 23 and completed numerous college courses while our 3 children according to the court counted for nothing and suffered as a result because the first child took priority. I dont think absent parents should have to pay maintenance for offspring over the age of 18 after all they are officially adults then. Its ludicrous to pay child maintenance to an adult. All my children had a part time jobs at the age of 18 even though they were still in full time educaton as I've no doubt his first son did. They were just milking us for all we had