Hello Becky,
Even though the following don't really meet your criteria, strictly speaking, I would recommend you try out this lot:
Animal Crossing (Nintendo DS). Apparently, a lot of female gamers are into this game. Its a nice, pleasant game in which you can find yourself immersed.
Brain Training on the DS is another. Its one of those games that keep your mind sharp.
Try Mario Kart DS, aswell. A lot of fun.
Finally, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney sounds like the sort of game you would like.
Hope that helps