He stole my knickers again....

[Goodsoulette]

So I split with the ex of 5 yrs a few months ago. I left the house for a week told, him to take what he wants as long as it doesnt effect the kids. He did a damned good job of clearing out, on further inspection I realise almost all of my underwear has gone and ANY sho with more than a 3 inch heel on it. Thats a lot of shoes and a lot of underwear. I persuaded him to give it back but l have discovered tonight that last week he stole almost all of it back, again. (after I trusted him to look after the boys in MY house).

is this totally crazy and does anyone buy the I cant bear to think of you wearing it for anyone else line?

[samuel23]

sounds like he's a nutter and you're better off shot of him. You sure he's not wearing it himself, or (worse still) using it for an answer to agent smith's question?

[ummmm]

Good Lord.

You haven't got the same size feet as him have you?

[Goodsoulette]

yeah he probably is wearing them himself... brilliant.

[brooklyn77]

Ok I am gonna try to be neutral hear, mainly because I am after some good advice myself in a minute, so here goes....

The bottom line is, in a perfect world we would all just wish each other a good future after a break up and move on with our lives, but if someone is stuggling to get over a relationship, no matter how it ended in the first place..it can make people do things they would not normally do...its a way of trying to keep hold of something that we no longer have..no matter how insane it actually is.

But to that individual, the way they behave is not only a lifeline to that relationship in their minds but its also a way of 'dealing' with things. If for example your ex loves you still and the thought (which would only be natural) of you being with someone else..especially in clothing he loved...really makes him upset..by taking that specific clothing he is in his mind somehow keeping you away from other men..or at least from looking your best in front of other men.

It will, to anyone else, including yourself, seem irrational, and it probably is. But sometimes we need to see why people do the things they do before we can make head or tail of it. Once you understand it, you can address those issues and move forward.

It might seem a bad idea, but if you confront those issues in a calm way and appeal to his worries and manipulate hiw way of thinking..in a clever way..then things will return to a sense of norm.

It just depends how badly you want things to return to normal and how much you like him as a person...if not a partner.

Its too easy for people to just say "he is a nutter" life is not as simple as that, and you have asked a question for advice..not just to pass judgement in yout favour..haven't you? Hope this helps

[ummmm]

It could be worse!

He could refuse to babysit

[ummmm]

Ward Minter.

Just got it. Bit delayed but very funny

[ELVIS68]

Perhaps he put them on Ebay for a laugh, gave them back to you and then realised everything sold, hence the reason for taking them back.

I suppose he could have gone out and bought new ones to send instead, but who wants negative feedback for ..... items not as described?

[country_boy]

Change your locks! I'd never let an ex back in without me being there, let alone for a week! Did he have a foot fetish when you were with him? Sounds like he does now anyway! Freud would have a field day with him, but it's probably just w@nking material. Can you not confront him about it?

[Goodsoulette]

I am not begging for stuff back again. I let him stay for the week to clear his stuff out because we had been together for 5 years, I accepted that hen took it the first time and I have resigned myself to the fact that I aint gonna get my shoes and knickers etc back this time..... its really more of a vent. I am getting my cousin to change the locks for me tomorrow though, he isnt having another thing out of my house.

[country_boy]

Good for you, I wouldn't let him back either. Shame that it ended like that really - 5 years is a long time, can understand why you left him to it while you were away. He should have respected that and obviously didn't! Good luck for the future x

[Goodsoulette]

ta very muchly xx

[country_boy]

you're welcome. sounds like you deserve better x

[dot.hawkes]

So does this mean you are in the market for a whole new shoe wardrobe? Huh?

[dot.hawkes]

Oh my, did anyione else get the addy at the side of this thread for 'men's high heels up to size 16?' AAAHHHH

[Craig007]

I know this is of no help to you Goodsoulette but if there was an award for best headline then " He stole my knickers again " would get my vote.