just a bit puzzled

[dawg_kane]

ive been seeing someone for the past 3 months exclusively and am really enjoying the time we have had together.My partner is not working at the moment and is frantically trying to look for work and arrange interveiws to further his career, i on the otherhand am full time, earning a good wage, have my own place, car, and at 32 am 8 years his senior.
The problem i am puzzled with is im not sure if i am thinking right or i am really out of order...
My partner has told me i am selfish because i want to spend time with him, and he feels that i would be annoyed if we were to arrange a day together and he wanted to cancel it for something else he wanted to do so doesnt (i wasnt aware he felt like this...and i wouldnt be annoyed if he had a good reason)
Also he feels bad because he doesnt have money at the moment and im quite happy to spend it on him, buying food wine ect, i even asked if he would like to go on holiday with me next month, i said i would pay and he can pay me back sometime later when he has money so he didnt feel like he wasnt paying for himself...he wont do that either!...and i really want to go away with him.
He says i am rushing the whole relationship thing and he wants it to slow down, i didnt think it was going that fast, we see eachother once a week, id like to see him more, perhaps thats why he thinks im selfish and its going too fast.....but thats just me and my character, if i like someone i want to spend time with them and get to know them better, i dont have a problem treating them to things...i dont know have i got it wrong?...am i rushing...am i expecting too much?....hes made me feel like a bad person for just wanting to do some good things.

[chitchat]

It sounds to me like your feelings for him are stronger than his are for you. I agree with you that if you like someone you want to spend time with them not avoid them or making excuses. But he seems to be putting the blame on you - your selfish etc. - rather than admit that its him with the problem and not you. I think you can to better than to be with someone who is going to blame you for his shortcomings. I hope you get things sorted and find someone who will appreciate your loving gestures because he certainly doesnt. Good luck.

[MrBen5]

hmmm, you dont seem a bad person. It seems like you both want different things though, and you both have different ideas of what a relationship is about. Also, he is probably depressed because he has no job. Personally, i would just call it a day with him. He isnt going to change anytime soon. I dont think your asking too much to see him more than once a week. He should want to spend time with you, it shouldnt be forced upon him. If you have all the quality's your saying, it shouldnt take you long to find someone a lot more suited to you...

[dawg_kane]

thanks i agree, at the end of the day im behaving the way i would normally behave, thats just me, i understand that there is an eliment of compromise within a relationship but if that means i have to change the bigger parts of my personality then i cant see the point, i need someone who wants me for me, wants to spend quality time with me and is pleased by the things i do for them.

[MrBen5]

Your right dawg_kane :) . you shouldnt change too much for someone. Its better to find someone more suited/like minded to yourself.
now where are you from again?lol

[dawg_kane]

lol "MRBEN5"....cheers again

BUT...im a geezer! lol

[MrBen5]

ooops :(

[PinkFizz]

Well I knew you were a guy! lol

And how can seeing somebody once a week be too much??