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iam rude!!!

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online | 13:58 Mon 30th Oct 2006 | Society & Culture
7 Answers
my problem is that the first impression about me when i meet any body is ( iam rude ) , thats what my good friend told me and i think so.
what can i do to fix that and what kind of knowledge's i have to know to deal with that ?
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Smile, make eye contact and say "hi nice to meet you". Imagine that everyone you meet is a potential good friend and react to them as such
chazza is spot on, good eye contact, freindly smile, light freindly greeting. If you are too shy or find eye contact difficult then don't make direct eye contact, just look at the bridge of their nose, they will not be able to distinguish the difference and it's very much easier than meeting people's eyes if you are shy. Think of something pleasant to say that you will have in common with this person in advance if possible to get the ball rolling and ask about them ( people always like to discuss themselves) but intersperse any questions with chat and info about yourself too so it doesn't come off as an inquisition. Don't fold your arms (negative body language) and stand just a little off directly opposite them as dead ahead is subconscious aggression. Listen attentively to what they have to say and show a genuine interest.
Small talk is more work than you think but there is a formula at least for not appearing churlish or bored. When you leave them always smile and say how nice it was to meet them.
Good luck.
I also have a bit of the same problem. Maybe it is because I am a bit too confident in my knowledge in my favourite subjects. One of them being the Bible. My missus says I come across a bit pushy. But then I do not have a problem talking with people. Who wants to be a wimp?
Hiya online, I have the same problem. Everyone says that they found me very offish when they first met me. I think it's cos I'm shy and havea conversation thinking of mental block when I meet people. I do say hiya and smile but apparently thats not enough to come across as friendly :/
i think my problem is the same as Beanmistriss. I can chat all day to customers at work because they don't mean anything to me. I don't care what I post on here because people don't know me. Burt when it comes to conversations that matter, until I know someone I find it very difficult to chat because I'm shy and think people can't possibly be interested in what I have to say and that gets interpreted in being standoffish!
If you spend less time thinking about you and more time thinking about the person you are meeting, the problem will automatically correct itself. Think back to the last person you met that you liked immediately - you may not remember a word they said, but I'll bet you remember exactly how they made you feel!!! They may not be as smart or as nice looking or as rich or as educated, but EVERYONE can teach you something if you just open up to them - and that starts with the very first impression you make - so smile, take their hand and open up to the people you meet.
If I understand you properly, your "rudeness"can be addressed most easily by saying less. First, listen then speak. Better to hide your rudeness in silence than to prove it by speaking.

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