Upset

[Rubyrose]

Recently me and a guy at work have been getting on great... we have always got on well but the last few months we have been texting eachother almost everyday and have had late night phone chats lasting about an hour each time! We email at work as well. Back in July when me and him first starting chatting (I started at the company in June) I was told by other colleagues that he had a girlfriend but when I spoke to him he said he had broken up with her a week or 2 before hand. Then we became friends, I went round his house, texting, emailing, phoning... blah blah blah... Yesterday he was telling me he went to the cinema and he mentioned he went with a 'female friend'... I didn't think anything of it and then today he told me he has a girlfriend! I assumed this was a new thing and he had just not got round to telling me... but I have just found out he has been with her a year and they had a small 2 week gap in the summer! I am shocked as he NEVER mentioned that they were back together and we chat A LOT and we chat about all sorts of stuff too! Now I am being offish with him and I don't mean to be but he has picked up on it and keeps asking me if I am ok!!!! I am gutted... I did like him! Why wouldn't he tell me?

[Rubyrose]

And to top it all off he just came over to my desk and asked if I was still mad at him and said I couldn't fool him! FFS! Why do Men lie so much?

[B00]

Why should he tell you? Unless you were having phone sex and you somehow see this as a sort of betrayal???

[teag1rl]

Aww, sorry Rubyrose. In my opinion. He was using you to give him an ego boost. Dont let him know you're pi55ed off though or he will have won. Just make sure you're doing something and are too busy to answer the phone/respond when he texts next time-or make something up!
I had a friend very much like this...he was married though.

[ummmm1]

cake and eat it springs to mind!!!

[Roughquest]

Fact is RR, men dont think on the emotional level us ladies do honey bunch, they dont know what they are doing half the time, and I dont think he realises he is doing anything wrong afterall you arent a couple are you? I know you were probably hoping to be with him, and Im so sorry this has hurt you, but just try and carry on as normal with him, I know it will be so difficult but you will be ok, it could be he has cottoned on to how you feel about him and he may have been playing up to that, men are strange darling, but be yourself and be confident.... you are worth 10 if him, but try not to let it spoil the friendship you have - hugs RQ xx

[Rubyrose]

Thing is Boo.. he didn't have to tell me and technically there was nothing going on but for two people who get on so well and chat ALL the time it is just weird that I don't know! If through his eyes we were nothing more than friends then why not tell me? But we have been flirty and stuff for ages now and people at work have picked up on it and most of them think there is something going on between us!! I just feel like I have been lead on and lied too!

[Rubyrose]

Thanks Roughquest! I am trying not to let him know I am upset but clearly I am and he noticed it today... I just couldn't hide it when we were talking! I am more annoyed than anything that I have wasted my time..... I know that sounds harsh but I do like him and he has a girlfriend and if I had known then I wouldn't have been the way I was with him coz I know how it feels to have a boyfriend being all flirty with a girl at his work! But the sort of stuff we chatted about and the way we were with eachother is not how you act with someone when you have a partner!!!!! Shocking!

[Roughquest]

I know RR and I agree, but HE isnt seeing it how you or i would darling, and most men like to 'try their luck' unfortunately.

[bloaterbum]

,You know, some people need propping up when it suits them and as soon as thing s pick up it's on your bike .Don't stoop so low for this dipstick .What goes round comes around.On the other hand youu might have been misreading the signals?

[ummmm1]

Rubyrose....the main gist I get from your question is why he didn't tell you he had a girlfriend.....like I said..cake and eat it....there is no other reason why he wouldn't have told you. Especially as you had become friends. Your GF/BF would always come up in conversation between two friends.