i need to get motivated. what should i do?

[bbw_claire]

My BF and I have been together for 2.5years. Hes canadian and im british.
He got a call to say his dad had a heart attack in canada, so naturally he went over, a week ago. Unfortunately his dad didnt make it and died at the weekend. My bf will now be staying there for another 2 weeks.
The thing is I miss him so much and just want to be by his side, and hold him and be his rock and there for him. Before he went away we had a major argument about commitment, and he said he didn't know how much I loved him. He has said sorry since, but I dont know if he really does know how much I love him. He says dont worry, hes ok and so are we and to stay here and hell be back real soon.
The thing is I love him so much and cant concentrate on anything without him near, as this is the longest we have ever been apart. At the moment I am job hunting, but keep fluffing up interviews or cant get motivated because my thoughts are with him.
Im feeling like an emotional wreak without him near and cry myself to sleep every night holding his picture. We are texting and talking on the phone lots but it's just not enough and makes me want to be with him more. Ive talked to friends, but to be honest that didn't help much as they are all married and just say they would love a 3 week break from their partners.
Im thinking about going to canada anyway and just surprising him just to show him how much I do care. But I dont really know his family and not sure if just turning up is the right thing to do.
Or do I stay here and try my best to find a job while he is away, so that he has some good news to come home to?
If so, how can I get myself motivated enough to job hunt and land the right job?

[MiniN]

It sounds like your in a tricky situation bbw_claire.

Perhaps you should phone him up and tell him you want to get the next plane out to see him and support him and see what he says. If he just mildly tries to put you off then you know he really wants u but if he is adament that its not right for u to go then u have to respect that decision. At the moment you need to judge what your BF needs, its not really about you at the moment as I can imagine he must be going through an awful time.

I'd say if he realy doesn't seem keen on you visiting, you should stay and prove to him how much your life together means to you by going out and getting a job, or at least securing more interviews. I know its probably a difficult time for you too but you should think about how nice it would be when he comes home, for you to be closer to getting a job and showing how much he means to you.

Good luck

X

[wvaleriechas]

You sound very young Claire & your emotions are running riot. If you have been in this relationship for a couple of years you should be learning to trust your Boyfriend & accept what he says. It seems to me that you don't realise the pain he must be going through just now & will want to be with his family. There is nothing worse than losing a parent when you are thousands of miles away & you must give him time to grieve with the rest of his family. If your relationship is going to survive this seperation you MUST TRUST. Love can so easily fly out of the window without this & you could make matters worse by adding to his burdens. Get out there girl & find a worthwhile job & put your heart and soul into it, I guarrantee he will love & respect you all the more when he returns. The last thing you should consider is going out there to "surprise"him as he needs time . You will understand these things when you are a little older & wiser. Believe me. Wishing you luck.