I need help

[rogerr]

I have had a new bathroom fitted, which has taken more time than expected. I have had difficulty getting time off work to be here all the time. Anyway, I had to leave one of them on their own today for an hour or so and this evening my husband can't find his Dunhill lighter, which was left on the kitchen top. I can't believe this man would steal it, but----. What do I do next, bearing in mind it would be so wrong to accuse him without any evidence, but we have turned our place upside down to find it.
Please help with your advice--I can't believe he took it , but---

[raysparx1]

rogerr,

Please be very,very careful how you handle this, I was arrested years ago after money went missing from a flat I was working in, luckily one of the flatmates was caught the same day,but I will never forget that feeling,there could well be a very simple answer,he might have borrowed it to light a blow lamp or cigarette, I often find things in my tool box that aren't mine,say a screwdriver or tape,that I hadn't noticed when leaving a job, and my mate has put them in with my tools,we return them or I would be overrun with them, so please think carefully, Ray

[skyep]

rogerr - Can you have a word privately with the other worker? Just say, look, this is really awkward but my husband's lighter is missing & this is making you feel very uncomfortable allowing this man to work in your home, see what he say's. If he has a dishonest workmate, maybe he would rather know about that!

[skyep]

rogerr - First give him the chance to clear himself, it may be the case he has left it somewhere as an oversight!

[LATECOMER]

rogerr If you don't think this guy took it then he probably didn't.... We all misplace things........ don't we???
I work in peoples houses all the time and would never dream of stealing from them.
Be very very careful before accusing folk.
First impressions are usually right, and few craftsmen are rogue traders.......!

[Sammy Snake]

Get a life!!! It's a flippin' lighter for gawd's sake - why would a bathroom fitter want to steal one? If he wanted one that badly, I'm sure he could have just added the cost onto the price he charged for your bathroom - would you have known?

[rogerr]

Thanks for your comments.
Sammy Snake--the lighter is worth �150 and has sentimental value much more than that, so it's not just a flippin' lighter.
My husband always leaves his cigarettes and lighter in the same place as he doesn't smoke at work so it is unlikely to have been misplaced.
The strange thing was that when I came back, the plumber asked if he could cadge a cigarette as he had run out. I offered him my lighter and he said he had got one. We also had a discussion on how smokers are treated as the lepers of society etc. Surely if he had taken the other one, he wouldn't be so devious as to even mention smoking.
That's why I don't think he took it, but where is it then?
We have decided to say nothing about it to him and chalk it up to experience, as to accuse someone without proof would make us feel even worse.
That's life eh!

[Ethel]

I would tell the workmen the lighter is missing, and ask them to keep their eyes open for it while they are in your home.

Not accusatory, just in a chatty manner that makes it clear how upset husband is to have lost it.

[rogerr]

Thanks Ethel--The trouble is that as soon as something is said to be missing, he is going to assume I mean him. This job has been "dificult" from the beginning. It has taken 2 weeks to fit a new bathroom and retile it. It has been a nightmare and if at the end of it I get a leak free radiator, sink,bath and loo, holes filled up, a bath panel that fits--oh the list is endless--All I want is a decent bathroom and them to go.
My husband says to just pay them and get rid, if we make accusations we will be left in a worse mess.
It's a sad state of affairs but that is how it is these days.

[aseymour]

Couldnt you just make a really big fuss about looking for it next time the workers are in moving their tools saying sorry but you lost your lighter and need to find it. a bit devious but if it was an honest mistake they may give it back....

otherwise, be honest and just ask if the have seen your lighter anywhere. If they have nothing to hide im sure they wont take offence

�150 though? for a lighter? hope you find it.....