Forgive your Enemies

[Lonnie]

The preacher's Sunday sermon was, "Forgive Your enemies." He asked all present how many have forgiven their enemies. About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 percent held up their hands. He then repeated his question. All responded, except one elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-three." she replied. "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, and said, "It's easy, I just outlived all those bitches."

[daisy48]

Nice one Lonnie..lol:-)))

[Lonnie]

Thanks daisy, I just thought it'd raise a smile.

[manxbiker]

this is a true story from 1939 as told by my grandfather who was a drum major with the coldstream guards. There was a football match between us and a French Army unit and they had a french band there and we had my corps of brums at the end we were both together on the football field and the french bandmaster conducted the british national anthem then i was called upon to conduct them french national anthem when it had finished i turned about and saluted the top brass and i saw the brigadier coming out from the saluting box with the french General i had a nasty idea what was going to happen and it did of course when he aproached i saluted him and then he kissed me on both cheeks a huge great roar came from the coldstreams in the stands somebody sent a report to london which was put in the brigrade magazine which i never saw it took a bit of living down once we got back i was in the sergents mess and the sergent major came in and said do i have to kiss you drum major i said nop you certainly do not or words to that effect

[manxbiker]

this is a true story from 1939 as told by my grandfather who was a drum major with the coldstream guards. There was a football match between us and a French Army unit and they had a french band there and we had my corps of brums at the end we were both together on the football field and the french bandmaster conducted the british national anthem then i was called upon to conduct them french national anthem when it had finished i turned about and saluted the top brass and i saw the brigadier coming out from the saluting box with the french General i had a nasty idea what was going to happen and it did of course when he aproached i saluted him and then he kissed me on both cheeks a huge great roar came from the coldstreams in the stands somebody sent a report to london which was put in the brigrade magazine which i never saw it took a bit of living down once we got back i was in the sergents mess and the sergent major came in and said do i have to kiss you drum major i said no you certainly do not or words to that effect

[Lonnie]

Thanks manxbiker, thats facinating and amusing, the fact that its a real story, makes me wonder how many other stories from the military there are, reminds me of the 'Readers Digest Humour in Uniform page', send it in, you'll get paid for it.

Think i'll put up a related post, never know what'll come up.

[fuggy]

the colonal orders the sgt major to parade the regiment before him . when on parade he tells them that they all lack culture and instructs these sgt major to give them a lecture on keats. ' before i 'start' bellows the sgt major, 'who knows what a keat is?