ok, i asked my boyfriend...

[Linz]

Ok, thanks or all your replies, I took your advice and I asked my boyfriend straight out if he was cheating on me, and he said he would never do that. We've been together for 2 yrs (not living together) and I just don't get why he would say he was doing something then do or go somewhere else, he has done it before, he even tried to hide the fact he went to his mates house the other night and I spoke to his mate about it and he couldn't understand why he would do that. It's like he's just telling me pointless little lies and I always end up thinking the worse.

[andy hughes]

Thanks for coming back on this Linz. Your boyfriend may assume you would be annoyed if he did things you saw as a waste of his time, or spending time with his friends you may ot approve of. Stupid, but it's a man thing. Explain to him that you;d rather have the truth that get embroiled in silly story-telling which simply plants worms of distrust and is very destructive. Genuine trust is a seriously attractive quality in a woman, one most men would be very silly to betray, so hopefully you can convince him to be honest, and you can both get on with your lives without inecessary worrying. Good luck.

[thewillow]

If I was your boyfriend, I would be pretty p*ssed off with being checked up on all the time. If he's not seeing someone else, he soon will be if you keep up this carry on.

[Linz]

It's not that I check up on him, I end up finding out things and then wonder why he didn't tell me himself. Like Andy said, it's just planting worms of distrust and I know for a fact he would not appreciate it if it was the other way around!!

[Janetex]

He's lying to you, therefore he cannot be trusted, it ain't rocket science.

[simontarling]

I agree with janetex - i think he is lying to you and possibly cheating on you - maybe he has a secret other than infidelity ? My girlfriend distrusts everything i do - so in the end i tell lies to keep her happy as she doesnt like the truth - maybe thats whats happened and BTW its a slippery slippery slope to the pit of split . be careful how you approach this - scorned boys/men make very bad sports when they've been found out. Good luck

[Linz]

simontarling can you give me some examples of the kind of things you would lie to your girlfriend about to keep her happy?

[simontarling]

In short - an old girlfriend that ive known since i was 13 got back in touch and suggested a beer / meal . . . So i said that i was seeing a mate of mine she didnt really like thus i wouldnt be caught out as she doesnt talk to him - and so she never knew that id had a beer with this old mate (who was a girl) a case of " what you dont know cant hurt you"

[Linz]

So you have never cheated on her then?

[simontarling]

no i havent - and i wouldnt. Its just that she would think i was having it "off" if i told her the real truth - did i help u understand ? and possibly offer a little light on your boyfriends weird ways ?

[Linz]

Yes you did. Thanks!

[Lisa_La]

I have the same problen with my boyfriend, i even got a girl call me on my mobile asking for him, i love him very much but i cant seem to trust him, i have asked his friend has he cheated on me and he said no. How do i know if my boyfriend is telling the truth!!!