The ex !

[Lezzelb]

Since splitting up with my ex last June we met up initally loads of times then for the past year or so have only seen each other about 3 times - all sober times! We have been in constant contact during this though - by text. While drunk there has been loads of times we said we would meet up but it never materialised. Then sat there we were texting both happy - and then i went to sleep. Woke up to find 7 missed texts and him phoning! he phoned 2x and asked to come down. He actually did this time and we had a great night together. But ... he has a girlfriend. I should tell him to get stuffed shouldnt i ?

[marley2000]

he wants to have his cake and eat it. no matter the history between you he has a girlfriend and i bet she has no idea you are even in contact. think about if you were her. it's not fair on you either. stay away!xxx

[Rubyrose]

Did anything physical happen between the two of you? If not then why shouldn't he be your friend? I wouldn't tell him to get stuffed but don't expect too much from him. Be happy to have him as a mate and enjoy his company.

[Rubyrose]

I disagree with Marley... Maybe his girlfriend does know about you, and if she doesn't then maybe he hasn't told her because she won't understand... but until he tries to take things further with you then there is no reason to send him packing! The second he makes a move is when you need to decide if he is worth it!

[Lezzelb]

Yes something happened between us. When we were drunk and the next morning when we were sober. Hate myself for this. Cant believe ive been so silly! He knows I still care for him and maybe Marley is right that he does want his cake !

[marley2000]

they've been in constant contact, they ring each other whilst drunk, after they had been texting and she fell asleep he sent several texts and phoned (bit much isn't it?)..that's the behaviour of people who still have feelings for each other. i just think it's too complicated when it comes to exes.

[marley2000]

they only split last june and have stayed in contact since...where's the getting over each other bit?

[marley2000]

looks like lezzelb just confirmed everything i said!x

[Rubyrose]

In that case then you need to be with him or send him packing..... BUT..... one thing I PERSONALLY could never do.. is tell a guy that if he leaves his girlfriend then I would be with him.... nothing to do with the fact that he is with someone but to do with the fact that I want to know if I am worth risking everything for even though I may not be with him..... If a guy ever said 'Will you be with me if I leave my gf/wife?' then I would say 'do it and find out'! No promises!

[marley2000]

lezzelb, don't be hard on yourself he is the one in the relationship. you just have to let go of the past, you'll find someone better xxx

[Rubyrose]

But maybe he never did get over her and still wants her and doesn't even know why he is with this other girl.... maybe the other girl has made him realise how much he misses Lezzel!

Have you spoken to him since that night Lezzel?

[marley2000]

if he wants her it has to be completely. give him some space and if he wants to get back with you then he will break up with his girlfriend and ask you back. he can't have it both ways and it's unfair for his girlfriend for you too to even be in contact when there is feelings either way. tell him to figure out what he wants because u wont be strung along! xxx

[Lezzelb]

We have texted a bit but nothing like we usually are. I think we are both a bit stunned it happened to be honest. When I met him about 5 years ago he had a gf then and he left her for me - we were supposed to be it - forever. But i got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and also had some personal problems things got on top of us and we split up - we just couldnt get it to work. He admitted to me a couple of weeks ago that he still had feelings for me and was scared to see me incase something happened. Now it has - im all over the place. Sometimes I think he is playing me - sometimes I think he is soo scared of his feelings he would just rather leave it than have us go through that again - he has basically told me thats the case.

[marley2000]

what are you supposed to do in the meantime? if he is scared that's understandable but either he takes the risk and is with you or you both let it go. im sorry you had such an awful time, i hope the pain has eased for youxxx

[Lezzelb]

Thanks for all your help. Been good to get some other people's perspective on my dramas!!!

I will try and keep away - maybe it would be for the best!!

[marley2000]

maybe you'll end up together, i just think he needs to figure out what he really wants. take care and let us know how it works out xxx

[Lezzelb]

Will do - and thanks xxxxxxxxxxx