How much do I charge my 'kids'....

[knowall]

...well...I say kids, one is 24 years old and the other 22. They are both graduating next week and the eldest one has already started work as a graduate trainee earning 16k a year. My youngest daughter is graduating as an illustrator (and very good she is too)and looking to make her fortune as a freelance. So she is sitting in our loft office all day 'creating' on the computer. She says she will be doing a bit of part time bar work soon, won't claim job seekers allowance but still seems to be able to go to town and buy yet another handbag!

So - how much board do I charge them?

Is it right to work on a percentage of take home pay (I wonder if 20% seems reasonable)...they both look at me gone out when I mention it! Funnily enough, they just don't  seem interested that when I tell them that when I started work in the NHS as a cadet nurse I earned about �9 a fortnight and gave my mother �3 a fortnight.

Being less flippant...my eldest daughter desperately wants to save up to buy a house with her boyfriend so I don't want to take too much..my youngest won't actually earn much until she can establish herself etc...and she thinks her boyfriend will look after her next year when he graduates!

Actually, I don't want a fortune but I do need to instill some sense of the real world....

[stevie21]

My rent is about 1/5 of my take home pay and this doesn't include any other bills at all.
Whatever it'd cost them to rent somewhere, I'd charge about 50-70% of that.

I couldn't agree more about instilling a sense of the real world. I'd still be sponging off my parents until I was collecting my pension if I hadn't been crow-barred out the door.

This
http://tinyurl.com/asgmg
is a one bedroom flat in a cruddy part of Glasgow. The flat itself looks manky, yet it's �375 per month.
If I lived there, I'd be bankrupt and stabbed within a couple of months :-)

Have a look around at what your kids would have to pay elsewhere.

[chazza]

I paid my parents �150 a month from i started working until i moved out, at which point they gave me back all the money that I had paid over the 3 years to add to my deposit for a house.

 

I didnt know in advance I was getting this back and was saving for the house anyway but it was a major help to me and it meant I was actually "saving" an extra �150 a month that i didnt know about!

[vicars]

I agree that saving the money for them is a great idea - its just whether you tell them or not! If you actually need the money then just save it but if you need it then be honest with them. If you tell them the money will be saved for them make sure it hurts a little, so they don't have too much to spend. They will need every penny they can get hold of trying to move out.

[ursula62]

My friend's mum charged her rent while she was working between college and uni, and if she took a summer holiday job in sixth form. At the time my mate was well peed off about it and called her mum all names under the sun behind her back.

But... when my friend started uni her mum gave her a bank book with all the "keep" money in it as an emergency nest egg.  My friend was really grateful (and guilty!).  This was back in the days of grants, but it still came in very handy and my friend was very careful not to take advantage of the money as she was on a 5 year med school course.

From this process, my friend had learned to budget so she could pay rent etc out of a weekly or monthly pay packet  and still have enough left over to fund a car and nights out (these skills are still not taught at school or college). And what's more she ended up with enough for a deposit on a small flat when she graduated once she combined the money with some premium bonds and other bonds bought for her when she was born.  

My own parents didn't do anything like this. The moment I started earning I was expected to pay one third of all household bills as there were three wage earners in the house.

I know which situation I would have chosen to be in!

[twiglet4frog]

in 2000 just before i moved out i was paying �35 a week in rent to my parents and i felt that was a good deal as they still cooked and washed my clothes for me. When i moved out i was then paying �75 a week at the time and having to do all the cooking cleaning and washing clothes on my own. So i definately think u should charge them rent and nothing too low, they will need to realise that they are looking at an expensive life soon

[Hermia]

I'm in my 20s and still living at home. I work in the public sector so am impoverished (!) and desperately want to put some money by for a deposit. So, my mum doesn't charge my rent, but I pay for my food and my share of the household bills. I obviously also do all my cooking and housework etc. So, this means that I'm not a financial drain on my mum, but I can save 'cause I'm not paying as much as other people my age.

I think it depends on what your child is like to be honest. My mum is happy with the above arrangment 'cause I am very good with money and she can see that I'm saving as much as I can every month. My cousin on the other hand p****s all his money away so my aunt charges him full rent as she doesn't see why she should support his ******** lifestyle.

[Hermia]

Ha! The word completely asterixed out rhymes with reckless, but begins with a f. I didn't realise that was a swearword - ha!

[Solarjunkie]

I warned my sons while still at school that when they becale earners I would charge them rent - it is just not realistic to continue to support them when they are adults.

They get charged the cost of a local bedsit, which is obviously much cheaper for them as they still get the TV licence paid, the electricity bill paid, etc, etc, but not a totally free ride. 

[Mistopheles]

I got my first part time job at 12, and paid my parents rent from then on (only about �10 a month, but still). I am pleased I did - sense of responsibility and all that. I had my brother living with me for a few months recently - I charged him �30 a week, less if he bought all his own food.

[paper_tiger]

Having read this, I think younger bother is getting away with a lot.
He is 22 and still at home, he never went to uni but now he has an ok office job. He pays nothing to my Mum in the way of bills or rent, and she bought him a cheap car and she pays the insurance! Yet he still seems to need to borrow money off her, his main expenditure seems to be his high-maintenance girlfriend. He has all his cooking and washing done for him too.
I think he's never going to move on unless he has some concept of how to manage his money/life by himself! My Mum has given him until age 25 to move out, but I can't see how anything will have changed and when he gets there as he has no idea what to do with himself!
I think the younger daughter in this original post should have to go on jobseekers if she is not earning, there is no shame in it and will maybe give her more incentive to get a job to tide her over until she thinks out her next career move.

[carrie12]

I agree with Chazza's answer. My mum (bless her) did this for me.. She saved �5 a week for me and when I left home she gave it to be. I would never had managed to save - you don't at 18 and I was very glad she did it.
I am trying to do it for my kids now aged 18 and 20 ... but unfortunately there is always things to buy. But if you can afford it - do that.
Regards Carrie