ChatterBank0 min ago
should i go for it
32 Answers
been talking on phone regularly ie. hours virtually everyday {to someone i met online} for just over two years now, we both joke about meeting and i trust him but not sure if it would ruin friendship if we met,
any thoughts??
any thoughts??
Answers
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bambi,
I can't answer for all blokes, but I can for me, you are wrong, we aren't all just after sex, we wnt the same things as women, respect, love, warmth, fun, family. the normal everyday things, sex is great but you can't be shagging 24 hours a day, and I know laurence and nox will agree with me cos they are both happily married the same as I am. Ray xx
I can't answer for all blokes, but I can for me, you are wrong, we aren't all just after sex, we wnt the same things as women, respect, love, warmth, fun, family. the normal everyday things, sex is great but you can't be shagging 24 hours a day, and I know laurence and nox will agree with me cos they are both happily married the same as I am. Ray xx
bambi,
Sorry we seem to be cross posting, admitterly a fair percentage of my fellow male species let the side down when it comes to treating women right, that includes my brother, he things its big, i think its pathetic.
In regards to your issues trusting men, well if you.ve been hurt/let down in the past, why should'nt you have issues, the onlt problem is once you believe all men are the same, it makes life more difficult for you, the only thing i would say is, at least your prepared {mentally wise} if you get let down again, if he ticks all the right boxes for you, go for it, just take one step at a time.
Sorry we seem to be cross posting, admitterly a fair percentage of my fellow male species let the side down when it comes to treating women right, that includes my brother, he things its big, i think its pathetic.
In regards to your issues trusting men, well if you.ve been hurt/let down in the past, why should'nt you have issues, the onlt problem is once you believe all men are the same, it makes life more difficult for you, the only thing i would say is, at least your prepared {mentally wise} if you get let down again, if he ticks all the right boxes for you, go for it, just take one step at a time.
All i can say is... U can regret NOT doing something more than doing something. I mean the meeting up here, not having sex. Why not meet up with him just for a chat, exactly like you have been doing on the phone? Tell yourself, in fact, promise yourself, you are not going to have sex with this guy unless you both decide to actually have a relationship and once you have got to know each other more on a face to face basis. That way, u havent just had sex and then ended up feeling used.
Fight the fear and do it. What have you got to lose? The alternative is, you chat on the phone for the next 5/10/20 years? U might meet and feel different, but at least you've done it and your feelings can become clearer.
I met someone online and my impression is so different from the person i was msn-ing and chatting to on the phone. Not a lot, but body language is a huge part of it all and when you can't see it, you can't understand somebody properly. We have started a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship (for about a month now) and I am not going to sleep with him until i am entirely sure. Born again virgin, me! ; ) Ha ha!!
Good luck hon, xxx
Fight the fear and do it. What have you got to lose? The alternative is, you chat on the phone for the next 5/10/20 years? U might meet and feel different, but at least you've done it and your feelings can become clearer.
I met someone online and my impression is so different from the person i was msn-ing and chatting to on the phone. Not a lot, but body language is a huge part of it all and when you can't see it, you can't understand somebody properly. We have started a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship (for about a month now) and I am not going to sleep with him until i am entirely sure. Born again virgin, me! ; ) Ha ha!!
Good luck hon, xxx
All i can do is give u my opinion bambi, but I agree with Sair. I find that I regret the things I decided NOT to do more than the ones I did do.
The best friend I ever had in my entire life was someone I met online, and we emailed and talked on the phone for three years before we met. There were feelings on his side that weren't entirely reciprocated by me. But before we met we talked about what we'd be meeting as. We were very clear with each other that it was not a date, it was two good friends meeting for a drink. It made us closer, but I understand that might not be the case for everyone.
We did end up having a relationship. I feel deeply for him, seemingly overnight, but that's a whole other story. The relationship ended but we were still very good friends. Like I said, he was the best friend I ever had. I don't think that we'd have been as close if we hadnt met.
In my opinion, i think you should meet this guy. Give him a chance. But you need to talk to him about what he expects from the meeting. You both need to have the same goals for the occasion. I don't think he's after sex and nothing else, or he wouldnt have called you for two years. You're friends already, and meeting for a drink wont change that.
If the sexual chemistry is there, then that's something you need to think about at a later date, but initially u need to meet as friends. If you think you won't be able to resist his animal magnetism, there's always the old trick of not shaving ur legs. Then you definitely wont wanna do anything. Or that's what my mother told me anyway. Never really worked for me.
Anyway, I've rambled on enough. I just wanted to give you my advice, from a girl who's been through the same thing.
Good luck, let us know how it goes. :-)
The best friend I ever had in my entire life was someone I met online, and we emailed and talked on the phone for three years before we met. There were feelings on his side that weren't entirely reciprocated by me. But before we met we talked about what we'd be meeting as. We were very clear with each other that it was not a date, it was two good friends meeting for a drink. It made us closer, but I understand that might not be the case for everyone.
We did end up having a relationship. I feel deeply for him, seemingly overnight, but that's a whole other story. The relationship ended but we were still very good friends. Like I said, he was the best friend I ever had. I don't think that we'd have been as close if we hadnt met.
In my opinion, i think you should meet this guy. Give him a chance. But you need to talk to him about what he expects from the meeting. You both need to have the same goals for the occasion. I don't think he's after sex and nothing else, or he wouldnt have called you for two years. You're friends already, and meeting for a drink wont change that.
If the sexual chemistry is there, then that's something you need to think about at a later date, but initially u need to meet as friends. If you think you won't be able to resist his animal magnetism, there's always the old trick of not shaving ur legs. Then you definitely wont wanna do anything. Or that's what my mother told me anyway. Never really worked for me.
Anyway, I've rambled on enough. I just wanted to give you my advice, from a girl who's been through the same thing.
Good luck, let us know how it goes. :-)
Immi666!!!!!!!! That is hilarious you should say that about the not shaving your legs trick!!! I didn't know it was a trade secret!!!! That's what i do!!! Don't shave armpits either so there's not even allowed to be any boob squeezing!!! Just in case he gets a feel of the stubble!! Ha Ha!! Us girls can come across all sweet and innocent and sometimes, the only reason we seem like that is coz underneath our clothes, we are hairy monsters!! pmsl!!
the only reason I say having sex wont make any difference is because just meeting him will, bambi is already admitting she is smitten with him and feels that by meeting him will only make her fall in love. Just meeting him could cause potential problems. If she can see that there could be nothing there then that its gonna be ok if she can cope with it.
Hey honey,
Well I can't add much to what's been said above but my wory is that you're putting yourself on hold for him, or more the idea of him, by the continuous what if.
Maybe you both get some comfort from having someone there when you need them who is not a physical presence in your lives and are scared of losing that crutch, hence the fear of meeting.
You've said on previous posts that you've been a bit lonely and such since moving to a new place and maybe this has made it worse.
It's a huge amount of time to devote to someone you've never met in that way, maybe you need to break free from it a bit and get out and get more involved in things socially so you don't feel so tied to him.
xxx
Well I can't add much to what's been said above but my wory is that you're putting yourself on hold for him, or more the idea of him, by the continuous what if.
Maybe you both get some comfort from having someone there when you need them who is not a physical presence in your lives and are scared of losing that crutch, hence the fear of meeting.
You've said on previous posts that you've been a bit lonely and such since moving to a new place and maybe this has made it worse.
It's a huge amount of time to devote to someone you've never met in that way, maybe you need to break free from it a bit and get out and get more involved in things socially so you don't feel so tied to him.
xxx
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