'Middle aged mothers' question?

[luckyeight]

Does anyone else find this AB editor's poll question quite offensive? What is the definition of a middle aged mother anyway - are we being asked to determine the acceptable age of a mother as being - what, under 40? 30?
Is the question supposed to refer to IVF mothers? I don't understand the point of this question - surely there are many 'middle aged' men and women who are having children. How can they be a burden on the NHS?

[adar]

i much prefer the haggis question below
think i might give that one a shot instead lol

[##Wardy##]

I agree that if nature says no to having kids, then that is it. Hard on some maybe, but that is the purpose of existence. Survival of the fittest and all that If the fittest can't breed then don't!.

If one is a "jaffer" or the woman eggless then so be it

Wether this is on the NHS or private I have a moral stance concerning this.

Also, whilst I hold no prejudice to bendy boys and dick van dykes, I am against gay adoptions and turkey basters. It goes against nature.

Further, I am slightly disturbed by these very old mothers who have fertility treatment. Poor kids.

[ummmm]

No not at all....They are questions and you have multiple choice. If you don't agree with any of the choices don't vote...simple

Hello Wardy sweetie xxx

[ummmm]

Oh....and adar....shakey shake!!!! xx

[jno]

well, nature said I had gout, and I had no hesitation about going to the doctor's to get it treated; don't see why I shouldn't do the same if my problem is infertility or even haggis.

[enigma]

Yes I wondered about that too Luckyeight. Perhaps a greater degree of clarity on that poll would have been better. I too wondered whether or not it referred to women using IVF treatment or conceiving naturally. I'm a bit ambivalent about the whole subject. One one hand I feel that it is acceptable to have babies later in life , as many women are now putting having children on hold for various reasons , career , not met the right person etc - all of which is fine. On the other hand however , I feel that there has to be a cut off point. I don't agree with elderly women having children - even if it is justified by saying that she paid for the treatment herself abroad. The menopause happens for a reason and you are not supposed to be having babies after a certain age. Why they would want to do the sleepless nights and nappy changes in their twilight years though is beyond me. I don't see how middle aged women are a drain on the NHS though.

[##Wardy##]

jno, I see your point. But we are not talking illness or disease, we are talking creation. Surely that has dominance over all things (whether religious or not).

I stand by my guns. If God or evolution says "NO BABIES" then no babies it is.

[enigma]

The thing is though Wardy , if we were all to live as nature intended , theoretically , as a 31 year old healthy woman , I could end up with about a dozen children if I chose not to use contraception. Now I love my kids but I would be horrified to be pregnant and barefoot up until the menopause lol ! Thanks to medical breakthroughs , our lives have been radically changed. People no longer die from sexually transmitted diseases , transplants allow patients to have a longer quality of life when their own organs fail and hopefully we may reach a point in time when we no longer see Cancer as a terminal illness , more a minor upset which can be completely cured. What's wrong with giving nature a little helping hand ? If childless couples are able to provide a loving , safe evironment for a child , then I see no problem with that. The sad reality is that so many babies are born into misery and poverty or have parents who didn't plan them nor want them. Someone who goes to the trouble of having IVF is obviously so desperate to have a baby and will usually be in a good position to provide for a child.

I thankfully conceived my children naturally but I remember how I felt when I was broody. I suddenly became acutely aware of every pram , baby product , children in the street etc. If I try to empathise with infertile women , then I can only begin to imagine the pain the longing for a child must bring.

[joko]

why are some people so quick to get offended?

it is just a poll presenting two sides to a situation that represents lots of people's opinions.

it is not a statement or an argument or an opinion or an attack - it is just asking you what you think!

what is offensive about that??

[bednobs]

i didnt quite understand the question either. Why should "middle aged mums" be a burden on the nhs? What is middle aged anyway? WHat is the definition of young mums and old mums? And why pick the nhs? If the question was "are young mmums a drain on the benefits system" there would be uproar!

[SSquirrel]

I didn't understand why "middle aged" (when exactly is that) mums should be singled out? How are they more of a burden than say teenaged mums etc. It's a sad pointless question.