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Thanks Saxy~jag, I was beginning to think people though I was nuts. I actually approached the new school today for advice, and as they are fully aware of our circumstances, they were horrified. I have written a letter with all the details, names etc and have a meeting with the old headmaster tomorrow am. If it had just been one of us having an affair it would be a totally different story, I wouldnt care.
I dont want anyone to get sacked, but I feel that family circumstances should be kept private, not shared with anyone who asks.