Children & Deaths??

[petes_dragon]

Hi everyone,

Just a quick question - this should probably go in parenting but it's related to body & soul too!!

My nana died unexpectedly on Friday morning, which is awful and a shock, but my main problem is what do I tell my son?

He is almost 4yrs and my nana idolised him, she was in hospital recovering from a broken hip and the docs were pleased with her progress so we all expected a full recovery - I took my son to visit her in hospital, so he knew where she was etc.........I haven't told him anything yet and I don't know whether I should, he'll probably ask questions soon!!

Thanks in advance
A xXx

[China Doll]

Hey Ms Dragon,

How are you? Hope you're well present situation not withstanding. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

When my friends grandad died earlier this year they used the analogy of him becoming one of the stars and pointed out the north star as the star that was now grandad and would be looking down on her son forever.

I don't know if that helps, I've no kids myself but it did seem to comfort the son as it was night he was most inclined to think about his grandad dying and worrying about it.

Take care of yourself and again, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. xx

[raysparx1]

Sorry to hear about your sad loss, when my nan died one of our boys was about the same age, we told him that nana had gone to heaven and that if he looked up into the sky for the brightest star, that was nana ha accepted that and used to look out the bedroom window to say goodnight to her, you can't ignore it as he will ask questions but kiddies are better at coping if they are told the truth, he will soon be back to his normal self, mot easy but it must be done, good luck, Ray

[raysparx1]

Didn't see your answer China I take so long to type, I think that is the best way, but others will have other thoughts.

[Eve]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think the truth put gently can be the best way, loss and grief is a natural and inevitable thing and you can encourage him to do this in a healthy way at an early age. Questions may be hard but again, gentle honesty is better than avoidance and confusion ot them being mislead. Better from you than them asking other people who could tell them all sorts.

China's idea about the star is lovely. I'm 28 and still feel my beloved nan around me and talk to her all the time and feel her with me on special occasions. I was cuddled up to her when she died and it helped me to think she's at peace now but still looking over me.

[daisy48]

Sincere condolence's petes. Its terrible when you have to tell your children when one of their grandparents pass away. We told our kids that Nana had gone to live with Jesus to help him in his garden and as a reward she would become a star. We said the same when their "Pa",my Dad, passed away just 18 months later..

[mifta]

Sorry about your loss.

My gran died in March and I told my daughter and son, aged 7 and 3, that she was tired and went to sleep forever (we don't practise a religion). We talked about her alot, my daughter asked to go to her funeral, which she did, and we made a point of getting a recent photo of her put in a frame and the kids chose where to put it. I do feel being honest and open with kids is the best way to be and don't be scared to talk about your nana.

Best wishes
Michelle

[Solarjunkie]

http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/
Have a look at this wonderful organisation, for bereaved children.