please help

[missyR]

im 16 years old and had sex for the first time about 4 weeks ago. It was over fairly quick but he said that he thought the condom had burst but he took it off and it hadn't visibly burst. According to my calender i was due to start my period over four days ago. My mind is racing with the possibility i may be pregnant. I'm almost positive it hadn't burst but i'm never late. Can i make a doctors appointment with my mam knowing?

[yolande]

I'm pretty sure you can book a doctor's appointment now you are 16 and they cannot tell your parents. Why don't you ask a close girlfriend or sister to do a test with you (you can get this from the chemist). You will probably be fine, you would be very unlucky to have got pregnant from this one occasion, you may find that worrying about it has made your period late. Good luck

[ganesh]

Sometimes the tests aren't very reliable this early on. You should have got the morning after pill if there was any doubt ,but now you really must go to the doctor. Your Mum doesn't have to know ,you're 16 and officially grown up so don't delay. Good luck,the sooner you know,the better.
I expect the stress is delaying your period.'but you have to be sure.

[missyR]

I will be thanks for your advice :)

[maggie01]

I would just like to ask. Why would you not want your mum to know? You were sensible enough to take precautions. I would be hurt if I knew my daughter had worries and I couldn't be there for her.

[missyR]

because i dont want to spoil her xmas if i am.

[browneyedgir]

You can definitely make an appointment without your Mum finding out. I agree that it is probably you stressing over the situation making your period late but obviously the most important thing to do is make the appointment straight away. I agree with Yolande, take a close friend, your sister (if you have one) or even an aunt if you are not comfortable with having your boyfriend with you for moral support. I am sure whatever the outcome your Mum will be as supportive as she can, she fell pregnant with you once after all didn't she!

[gina32]

i cant believe what ive just read, BE VERY UNLUCKY TO GET PREGNANT FROM THIS ONE OCCASION try telling that to all the first timers, chances are it is worry but that was a silly statement to make yolande

[yolande]

I know it's possible to get pregnant from one mistake/split condom etc, but seriously, people take on average 3 months of regular unprotected sex to get pregnant, so I stand by saying that it would be unlucky.

[ganesh]

I am the mother of a 16year old and I would want to know,but teenagers don't want to discuss that type of thing with their Mums unless they have to,and that will always be the case and always was when I was a teenager as well.
I would be supportive and your Mum probably would be but there's no need to tell her about it if you aren't pregnant.
I understand ginas comment about being unlucky,but I would agree that you have been unlucky as you were careful and used contraceptives.
It's worth remembering though that condoms aren't 100%safe and they are known to split occasionally.

[888sally888]

My daughter is 16 and I would rather know what she was going through. I would be more upset not knowing and would hate her suffering alone.

Tell her - I am sure she will support and love you as always. Good luck darling x

[saxy_jag]

Unfortunately, Sally, not all teenage girls have the kind of relationship with their mothers that enables them to tell them about things like this.

Sometimes girls underestimate their mums too. They think, because Mum is probably a little 'starchy' or old-fashioned, maybe quite cross-and bad-tempered a lot of the time, that they're going to blow a gasket to hear their daughter may be pregnant. Then when they do tell them, they're wonderful about it.

Still, Missy, do get along to your GP (which your mum needn't know about). You need to find out what's happening in there, and the sooner you do, the more time you have to weigh up your options. If you're lucky enough to be all clear, then the GP will probably suggest you have a word with either the practice nurse or a family planning clinic so that you can minimise the risk of this happening again.

Are you still with the boy, by the way? Have you spoken to him about it? I suggest you do, if it's at all possible.

[Eve]

As said above worry and all sorts of other things can cause your period to be late but you need to get some help and advice whether you're pregnant or not, whether it puts your mind at rest and make sure you're fully informed about general sex and contraception issues or you know where you stand and can move on from there.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to your mum about such things, I definitely did, then maybe try and bring up a general discussion with her about sex and such to test the water so to speak.

I've found as you get older that you realise your parents have often been there and can offer you some fab advice and support and it you can talk to her about things then it may help in the future for you to get some help and advice a bit quicker.

If it's still not an option is there someone else you could speak to such as an older sister, teacher, friend or relative.

Try this to find somewhere in your area...

http://www.multimap.com/clients/places.cgi?cli ent=ruthink_01

You can also try Brook for some more info and advice...

http://www.brook.org.uk/

Or RUThinking has some useful links...

http://www.ruthinking.co.uk/

As does Connexions...

http://www.connexions-direct.com/

Whatever happens, don't hide away and panic, there is a lot of help and support out there, you're not alone and it's by no means the end of the world even if it might feel like it.

Hope everything works out for you hon, let us know how you get on xxx

[missyR]

hiya huni i dont know if you've read the question but i'm pregnant! thanx for your advice though although i am 4 weeks pregnant ! xx

[ganesh]

Not the news you wanted ,so I'm sorry. If you're going to abort you need to arrange it as soon as possible. Forget Christmas ,this is more important. I hope you've told your Mum now and that the Doctor was helpful and understanding.
Good luck for the future!