dodgy text...

[Jenarry]

i'm a bit insecure about my bf's relationship with a couple of girl mates so today when he left his mobile at home (and i hate myself for it) i had a look thru and found a text that he'd sent one of these girls while they were out last sat night that was quite suggestive,not something he would normally say to mates drunk or sober,and didn't seem to be prompted by any previous comment so didn't seem like a joke.want to ask him about it but feel bad because i shouldn't have been looking in the 1st place.thing is he's out drinking with this girl all the time(he's out with her tonight)they have a little history.my bf asked her out long before he met me but she just wanted to stay friends.and recently at a house party when she was v drunk she was flirting with bf outrageously so i'm wondering if she's had a change of heart . if these are all drink fuelled things then i'm gonna feel worried everytime he goes out without me. don't know what to do.thinking about having roundabout chat about us ,whether he's happy etc,his friendships with these girls maybe.or just come clean and get it out in the open? what do u guys think?

[Miss-read]

Excuse me, but why he is out with this girl tonight, and not with you instead?

[Jenarry]

we have a baby boy so not always possible to go out together.

[lizzydrippin]

Good question, why is he out with her and not you? But apart form that I dont think its a good idea to confront him about the text. I can almost gaurantee that he will immediately evade your question by making a big issue about reading his text. Which of course you shouldnt have done but plenty of us would (me included if I had any doubts about a fella). With regards to the flirty bird, I think its more to do with her just either feeling relaxed enough to be flirty with him cos she knows he's with someone else so it wont go anywhere or its a case of someone appearing far more attractive when they're somebody elses boyfriend. Im sure you'll already know deep down whether you can trust your boyfriend or not.

[Jenarry]

have never felt worried before hence being quite happy for him to go out with girl mates although the frequency of it since i can't get out with him all the time now does bother me a bit. it's just as i said -what he said in his text wasn't something he'd normally say to someone.seemed so out of character.and this girl was quite happy to flirt the way she did when i was there-what's she like with him when i'm not?

[lady_p_gold]

This is always the trouble when you start looking at phones or e mails. what do you do when you find something. You either get eaten up with curiosity and insecurity and say nothing, or you confront and then the trust is gone. I have to say I think that there is probably something going on, whether it is mild flirtatious text banter or a full on something is anybody's guess but if he is out with her and you are at home with the baby it seems a strange arrangement, but then at least he has told you he is out with her (I presume with others too?). I think I would just wait and see what happens - is he just living the life of a single bloke and letting you stay at home and look after the baby ?? Maybe that needs to be addressed.

[Amber1571]

Jenarry, I think you should confront him. You looked at his text, ok that was naughty (i have done it too, though!) but the issue here is, what is going on with him and that girl. Maybe nothing, but you have a right to ask and a right to know. Tell me, if you secretly followed your boyfriend and you saw him with another girl, would you confront him? Of course you would, so you check his text, you find one that you feel uncomfortable with, do you confront him - hell yes! Don't do it accusingly, just tell him what you did, explain you should not have, but the issue is - what is going on, and the next issue is, why don't you two go out more together get a babysitter, if you can't, why should you miss out on the fun, surely you can both stay home and have some friends round? Be brave and ask him, otherwise it will fester inside you, trust me, I know....

Be strong and have a lovely Christmas x

[MoxyMoo]

ASK HIM!
By sending her a dodgy text isn't fair on you.
If he throws a wobbly cos you have looked at his phone then he's guilty in my opinion

[freak_unique]

what did the text say if you dont mind me asking? If i was you, id give him an all round talk about if hes happy etc and how he feels and maybe mention the fact that your a little insecure about these girls and his friendships with them. I dont think you should say you have looked through his phone as he will not trust you from then on.
Also, if the girl wasnt really interested in him before (i.e no chemistry to get with him before) then i dont see why she would have a change of heart. Its probably most likely that cuz she knew he liked her at one point shes having a little flirt to boost her ego and i guess in her eyes its safe to do that now as he is taken?
Good luck

[poopy]

Nothing wrong with reading his messages. I read my bf's all time. If there's anything going on I want to be the 1st to know! Ive been the last before and its not nice. I would confront him - stand up for yourself luv, dont be the door mat or the last to know. If he dont like it he shouldnt be txtin people like that. And as for going out with her - NO NO NO your leaving yourself wide open.
No point having a chat about you's cos he will just say what you want to hear (they all do) just tell him you've seen the txt's and dont like it so dont do it again.
Be strong luv. Tell him.

[Goodsoulette]

You might as well ask him about the text because if you ask him about it in a roundabout kind of way, he'll probably lie and then you'll just get mad and it will come out anyway. Tell him what you read, tell him you need reassurance you love him and spend some qualioty time in/ out with him.

[Jenarry]

i know that she didn't want a relationship with my bf before but she's become v fed up of being single and talks all time about "her type" as always going nowhere.just worried she's had change of heart.i really really don't think i can tell him about text.think it will just open up whole can of worms and make him worried about mobile and mentioning girl mate. i am going to try and get out more often though.i think he likes these girls company because they are out on the town at every opportunity having good time.im going to remind him that i can party with the best of them!!!

[Goodsoulette]

Just dont be a mug Jen xx