Hi, just seen your post, how are you doing?
Many of us on here, myself included have suffered from types of depression and mental illness and you are not alone and can come on and talk to us anytime. I can and does get better :)
Help is out there if you need it, it can be a big step asking for it but if you can get yourself to that stage, and it sounds as if you know within yourself that you have, that's a major and sometimes the hardest step from which you can start getting better and moving forwards.
Try and separate it in your mind if you can, it's an illness which can be caused by all kind of things such as chemical imbalance and genetic factors.
If you look at things objectively, if you're ill then you get the medical help and support you need. eg go to the doctors.
If you're really ill, ie symptoms getting too much to bear, then you get medical help more urgently eg go to casualty.
Many long term conditions can be controlled with medication, if you have certain types of diabetes you need insulin everyday to right the imbalance in your body. If you have problems with say depression caused by a chemical imbalance you may need to take medicine every day to right the balance (I'm a case in point).
I hope this helps someway, let us know how you get on and take care of yourself, I'll be thinking of you xxx