police vs social services

[lorraine29]

Who should I turn to?
Yesterday afternoon my 14 yr old son and his friend came home with a police officer, who discussed with me that his friend (also 14) had been reported missing since monday, having taken him home to his mum she had made it clear she didn't want him and neither did his dad. The officer then asked if he could stay with me while social services sorted him out with an alternative, to which I agreed. I was told that social services would be in touch the same day.
Last night he stayed altho had to sleep on bedroom floor as i have no spare beds. He has been well behaved and polite.
Having not heard anything from s.s. by this morning i tried ringing them only to be told that they hadn't heard anything from the police and as far as they were concerned the police had returned him to his mum. and all they could suggest was i took him back to his mum myself.
I rang the police and was told that it was down to social services to deal with.
So now I am in a dilemma, I have 3 children of my own who must be my priority and gained a teenager. I was more than willing to help out for a few days but know it is beyond my means to cope long term. So who do I turn to for help?

Thanks

Lorraine x

[##Wardy##]

Ring the police and insist they deal.

Ultimately, it will be a social service issue, but they work a 9-5. There is a county set-up called EDT (emergency duty team) here in Sussex so may be called another term elsewhere. Only the police have this phone number.

Say you can not cope and if you are forced to put a 14 year old boy on the streets, he will be likely to "suffer significant harm".

A PPO (Police Protection Order) will have to be taken out (by any officer, but run by an Inspector).The police have to notify the local authority. It will then be the responsibility of the local authority to find suitable accomodation for the child.

It sounds like the Police are abiding by the Childrens Act insofar as they have found "suitable accomodation" in you.

Speak direct with an Inspector.

[noxlumos]

We've had a lad staying with us since he was fifteen under very similar circumstances, he's now seventeen. Social services and the Police and bloody useless, his mother threw him out and he had nowhere to go, we contacted social services who did absolutely jack sh1t, and in the end we got fed up with trying to get either his dreadful mother or social services to see sense and he's stayed with us ever since.His mother still claimed his family allowance though and kept it for herself, greedy neurotic mare. I have no suggestions for you I'm afraid as we couldn't get any results from them either and short of packing him off and dumping him in their offices ( which we wouldn't do as we felt he'd been through quite enough) I honestly couldn't come up with anything else so he stayed. Good luck.

[##Wardy##]

PS, every county has a huge list of caring and fully trained emergency foster homes. They are paid well, but sadly due to the easy route of the old bill, they are not utilised no where near enough.

[ummmm1]

Please dont throw him out....at 14 he needs someone. I had issues at that age and left home. He will need all the support he can get. There is nothing worse than rejection at that age.

although I must add that my family have never rejected me but at that age I was very delicate for various reasons. The people who helped me still remain my best friends..

[lorraine29]

I would love to be able to help him long term ummmmmm but as a single parent to 3 already I am on a very tight budget already, when i mentioned this to social services earlier I was told to talk to his mum and get her to pay me hi benefits.....hardly an ideal set-up also altho my kids on the whole are good, never been in any sort of trouble with the law or anything I often find it very stressful and don't feel i could cope with another child especially one who has already had several run ins with the law

Lorraine x

[enigma]

This situation must be so frustrating for you Lorraine. You have done your Good Samaritan by taking in this young boy on the proviso that it would only be on a short term basis and now you do not seem to be getting the help which you need to secure this boy accomodation. I know someone who was in a similar situation in the respect of the social work dept and police being involved with the difference being though that the daughter was running away from home and the parents DID want her at home.

The police are only duty bound to act on a report of a missing child and either return them to their parent/parents or legal guardian or else secure them in an alternative safe environment. They are not obliged to make follow up checks and will only intervene again if the child is reported missing again. It really is down to the social work dept to secure this poor lad some accomodation but sadly , as you are experiencing , there can be a lot of buck passing before this actually happens.

Normal working hours , your point of contact is Social services and out of hours is EDT as Wardy quite correctly mentioned. You must keep on at them and stress the importance of securing this boy accomodation to settle him and also I would mention the impact which this is having on your family. It would be all fine and well to ask you if you could not put this boy up for a little longer but none of us are in your situation and we do not know how this is affecting your family nor how overstretched you are. Whatever you do , the most important thing to remember is to tread softly with this poor boy. It is dreadful that his own parents do not want him at home but it would be awful to think that he is a burden on you. He will have to go through enough of an upheaval being passed from pillar to post until they find him somewhere permanent. It's a tough one for you but please do keep on at social services. Good luck x

[lorraine29]

Just spoken to the out of hours social worker who still states that he should go back to his mum, even tho she is still adamant that she doesn't want him, they seem to think that I should be the one taking him, Which I have stated quite clearly that I'm not prepared to do. as I said I didn't agree to get involved in his family disputes. I am very mild mannered by nature and would hate to get caught up in any violent scenarios.

Lorraine x

[ummmm1]

Lorraine.....I didnt mean you should keep him long term...Im sure you would if you could...I just meant, as its friday nothing will be done until Monday at the earliest. I just meant make him welcome until it can be sorted. You can insist the police do something or ss but it may be better for him to wait till Monday, so he is not being rejected by his mother and another person in a time of need. He is 14, he will understand that you cant have him with you for long. I hope that makes sence. I hope you are not misunderstanding me...I didnt mean to say that you should do more than you own situation allows, I just meant that rejection is hard at that age and if you explain that he can stay over the weekend but the situation needs sorting on Monday he will feel that you are doing the best you can do and not turning your back on him. That still means a lot to people....

[lorraine29]

Just had another call from social services who are coming out on monday to see him and try to persuade him to go home to his mum (good luck to them on that one) so he's staying with us for the weekend.
gone ice skating with my son and a friend today, and was so proud when he made a cake today, first thing he had ever cooked :(

[scruffscat]

bless ya lorraine, you are an angel doin all that.It nice to know there are people out there like you.well done and good luck with this situation.The lad must feel really at ease with you .

[ummmm1]

fair play to you lorraine xx

[lorraine29]

Well this just keeps getting worse and worse, the lad has just gone home to his mum's for some of his clothes as instructed by the social services and the police. Nobody appeared to be home, within half an hour of him going a family friend has informed him that she has been in touch with the police, trying to get an injunction against him. And Social Services are talking about taking him home to her on Monday

[Eve]

That's awful hon, i wish I had some more constructive advice to give you to help you in some way!

All I can do is say I'll be thinking of you and hope that some kind of resolution can be sought to help all parties to move on with the minimum of trouble. I really hope everything works out for you.

xxx

[lorraine29]

well monday afternoon and the poor lad is still here with me and the only advice that socialservices can give is"send him home to his mum" totally unbelievable.