divorce settlements

[maximus]

my wife and i are divorcing. we are joint home owners and have 2 children. my wife wants to sell the house and have a 50-50 split. she wants to take my son and im keeping my daughter (she has visual disabilities) i want to keep my house and remortgage it to keep my daughter in her house and have my son stay at weekends, and im looking for a less than 50/50 split in my favour because my earings arnt that high. i have made her a couple of reasonable offers but she has turned them down .i really want to keep the house for my childrens sake. what are my chances in court of getting a favourable settlement?

[andy hughes]

The golden rule in any negotiation is - never anger someone who'se co-operation you rely on to get what you want. In this case, you need to appeal to your wife's interests for the best for your daughter, and go in from that angle. Play up your daughter's need for security and familiarity in what will be a difficult situation, without making things additioanlly difficult for her. Hopefully this will help you to reach a conclusion based on your childrens' best interests. You must, at all costs, keep your own defensivve insticts for your children in check, you must not get into any rows or arguments, stay calm, and avoid any personal attacks on your ex-wife - and hopefully good will win out. Good luck.

[becks]

I'm going through something like this with my parents at the moment, son't antagonise anyone like andy says. Also I don't know your situation but if one party has been unfaithful the other party is automatically entitled to more than half. Becuase you are both "keeping" one of the children, the situation will be different and you say that you're earnings aren't that high - but how high are they in comparison to your wife's as that will also have a effect. i am assuming you are unable to buy her half of the house in this btw. You also don't mention how old the children are as it is different if they are over 18. Get a decent solicitor s the last bit of advice if you think this will go to court, and try to keep as much as you can between yourseleves ie without the intervention of solicitors, if this is possible. Finally i'd just like to say that i really hope you can remain amicable, and to really try and not let it affect the children, sorry if i sound patronising, but as someone going through it, it's heartbreaking all round. All the best.

[Greedyfly]

I hate to be th baddy but am I the only one that thinks splitting the children up is a bad thing?

[secretspirit]

I agree with you. Sorry Maximus but the way you say your wife's "keeping" your daughter and you're "keeping" your son it makes them sound more like pets.

[secretspirit]

... except the other way round. You need to get a good solictor's advice anyway and then it all depends what happens in court on the day.

[mother25]

If a solicitor is the last person you want to see at the moment, on the grounds of cost if nothing else, go to your local Relate Office, or start with Citizens Advice centre. Both of these will be able to advise you and they won't charge, although they may expect a donation, I'm not really sure. Put the childrens' interests first no matter how old they are. This will be the worst thing that's happened to them so far and it won't be easy for them to understand or accept. You and your wife are 'adults' and will be able to cope with the trauma much better than your children will. Good luck anyway, whatever you decide to do. God bless you all.