I'm sorry about your illness. But, the best way to deal with death is to accept it and live life to the fullest. I've been pregnant twice and for some reason I had an eeery feeling that I was going to micarry and I did, twice. The way I dealt with it was grieving (for years), put on weight, and just lash out on my loved ones. Thats when I realized that you have to take control of your life and just accept things as they come and be strong. I hope this answer helps. take care.