thank-you, but can you help again?!

[worried.me]

Well first to say thanks for all your help with weather it was worth going up to see my girlfriend. Well i went on satarday evening and had to come back monday morning but she appreciated the fact i had come up despite the little time.

Anyway at the moment there is a few other things scaring me at the moment.

* First i have to go back to see the doctor tommorow. It is two weeks since i saw him and was prescribed anti-depressants. I still feel very low despite seeing a way through with the help of my counsellor, been at work till 12 today and felt tearful most of the time.

*second, i have been asked to go for a drink with some of the guys from work tommorow evening. I cant/wont drink at the moment with the medication so it will only be a cola but i go out so little it is really scary and i feel really fragile about social interaction.

*third, my aunt and one of her daughter are coming from australia next monday to stay with me and my family. It is going to be a lot of up heaval and i feel really bad having to put on a brave face what with feeling so down. Also since the last time i saw her i dont feel my life has gone anywhere and she will see me as a failure.

*lastly, i will have an interview in the next few weeks for a manager's position and am really scared i will not be able to psych myself up for it.

hope you guys can offer some nuggets of advice. thanks

[Shannon07]

Hi there
Ok lets see what we can do.////

1. I remember your previous thread and so this doc's appoint will help with the doseage. Cos they only gave you a little bit last time this time they may just up it slightly. Things do get worse before they get better and so you need to work through this

2. The guys from work do not obviously see you as a failure or as someone they cannot interact with cos otherwise they wouldnt have invited you out. Just go cos to get out of your mothers house for a few hours will do you lots of good. You dont have to be the loudest but just spend time with them. Cos you want promotion it will help to get on with your colleagues more. Just drink soft drinks and you'll be fine

3. Your family will be glad to see you. They wont summarise your life, they just wanna catch up with their relations. you have loads to tell them which does not involve the depression. 1. possible promotion at work which you are concentrating on and 2. your girlfriend. dont worry.

4. Your management see prospect in you. the interview is about you showing your eagerness for that job. You already work for them so the hard bit is over

good luck, stay calm and just try to believe in yourself a little more each day.

[worried.me]

thanks.

i am just very low at the moment and worried about money aswell. life is so boring and the same and i know people will say well get out there and join things etc but i cant do that as have no money or will to face anyone. also i want to try and work on one thing at a time first it is getting my job sorted so there is more money coming in at least can then get things paid off and start to concentrate on all the different bits of life.

[worried.me]

the problem at the moment is that i cant find the belief to move forward and just cant see anything happening for me. in some ways i would rather nothing happened because its easier that way, also i dont deserve to go anywhere in the world.

[Shannon07]

You deserve all that you want mate. You hold the power and at the moment you cannot see that cos of the depression. if you ease your worries by higher medication then you will see that by accompolishing a little more each week you are getting somewhere

[worried.me]

Well i am not sure about asking for higher medication. I started on 10mg then 20mg after five days. So i will just make a list to show the doc the feelings i am having etc. i tend to babble and not say everything thats important otherwise. If he wants to put the dosage up then so be it but i dont wana ask for that.

[sophie_1003]

When people say get out there to make life more interesting it doesnt necessarily mean you have to put yourself into social situations where you feel uncomfortable. I know its difficult when you have no money (exactly the same situation myself!) but there are things you can do without needing money, go for a stroll every now and then, if you have a camera take pictures of everything and anything you see. Read books, if you havent got any join your local library. Look out for free events in the local newspaper. If you start doing things on your own you may fnd that when someone says "whatve you been up to over the weekend?" and you answer with stuff like going on a walk, read a really good book etc they may say that they would like to walk (for example) and then you can say well im going to so and so this weekend if you want to join me...hopefully this could lead to some long lasting friendships

[battersby]

Hi worried, What's the name of your AD's? When a patient is prescribed an AD he's usually given the lowest dose then 2 weeks later the GP will decide wether to up that dose. You sound like you have a condition called "Social Anxiety". You're right not to drink alchohol especially if you're on an SSRI. Easier said I know but please try not to worry about what your relatives may think. They'll just be happy to see you and your family and if you feel a bit dodgy you can easily make an excuse to leave the room for 10 minutes to calm down. No doubt your Gp will up your dose tomorrow as long as you tell him how you're feeling .Put the worry of that interview on the back burner until the actual day ok?

[worried.me]

thanks for your words of support but you make my situation hopeful when i feel very helpless and hopeless.

I have felt low for a long time and the real low point came at the beginning of uni 4 years ago but after egtting much help and coming off medication i now feel like i have slipped back a long way.

I have felt very much more low of late and i must say i dont expect the medication to take an effect but even me trying to relax etc is not doing much good.

the session with my counsellor last week was good as i was able to structure things well. the problem being that i feel like a ship that has sustained bad damage in battle but i never seem to be able to have time or the ability to fully repair before going into battle again. at times i feel like i would rather sink and cease to exist rather than plod on and get more damaged as i cannot see how i am going to fix the damage. it is all the much worse as after 3 years of help whilst at uni i come home then go downhill again i feel like such a failure i thought i was on the track to getting well.

[worried.me]

i am on 20mg of citilopram.

I cant really put off the interview prep as it sounds like a whole day thing with group exercises and role play and a normal interview etc...a real grilling.

[worried.me]

ok i went to the doctor this morning. i managed to write a list of about 10 things that were causing problems etc. my lack of eating and just wanting to stay in bed in the dark or cry. He listened and talked to me for a long time and really just said i need to try hard to turn things around to positives as most things are not my fault and i am a very capable person. I said about how i was going with my counsellor and i wanted to make a plan of action etc.

He wants to see me again in about 2 weeks. I am not sure how i feel about how it went. i didnt expect him to be so erm forceful in saying i need to move forward.

[battersby]

Hi worried, 20mg of Citalopram is a low dose and amongst the side effects are,,,tiredness, lack of appetite or the opposite and a feeling of agitation. This is down to the Cipramil causing extra surges of adrenylin in your system. Cipramil is the only SSRI that causes this problem but it should wear off within 2-3 weeks of starting on this AD. Im a moderator for a support group,another SSRI, Seroxat. If I can help in anyway at all you can mail me at [e-mail] thats not my real name btw. xx

[worried.me]

thank you and i will tryto mail you if i could do with advice. I have thought about joining a self help group bby the way though the nearest one to me is not in my town! I gather mind run some groups but have not really found if they are the same as the ones set up by depression alliance.