News1 min ago
Doesn't feel right - habit or wrong?
4 Answers
Hi,
Ever since I was 14 I thought I was gay. Then when I went to uni I came on to a friend (girl) which felt right at the time and we ended up together for the past 3 years (after a intial off-on period when I was saying but I'm gay etc). She broke up with me in September (and I really only thought about guys a few times during our relationship). For the past 3 weeks I've been seeing a guy but I'm not sure what my feelings mean.
I mean while I'm "doing things" with this guy I get point to a point where I saying in my head "what am I doing?" and I no longer feel all turned on, I just feel strange as if I'm doing something I shouldn't.
Now I'm wondering is this genuine feelings that being with a guy isn't right for me or the other thought is I've only had one person before, a female, so is it just I'm "used to" being with a girl or specfically with my ex. As I do wonder if I went with another female ... would I enjoy it or would I still have these same "what am I doing?" feelings when with her.
Has anyone ever had these feelings when we someone particularly after a recent breakup ... are they normal or are they real feelings that show it's not what my head/me wants?
Without being sounding crude ... I really enjoyed "going down" on my ex alot and miss it! I just wonder if I'm missing that act or missing my ex in particular!!
Thanks!
Confused x
Ever since I was 14 I thought I was gay. Then when I went to uni I came on to a friend (girl) which felt right at the time and we ended up together for the past 3 years (after a intial off-on period when I was saying but I'm gay etc). She broke up with me in September (and I really only thought about guys a few times during our relationship). For the past 3 weeks I've been seeing a guy but I'm not sure what my feelings mean.
I mean while I'm "doing things" with this guy I get point to a point where I saying in my head "what am I doing?" and I no longer feel all turned on, I just feel strange as if I'm doing something I shouldn't.
Now I'm wondering is this genuine feelings that being with a guy isn't right for me or the other thought is I've only had one person before, a female, so is it just I'm "used to" being with a girl or specfically with my ex. As I do wonder if I went with another female ... would I enjoy it or would I still have these same "what am I doing?" feelings when with her.
Has anyone ever had these feelings when we someone particularly after a recent breakup ... are they normal or are they real feelings that show it's not what my head/me wants?
Without being sounding crude ... I really enjoyed "going down" on my ex alot and miss it! I just wonder if I'm missing that act or missing my ex in particular!!
Thanks!
Confused x
Answers
Best Answer
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Theres nothing wrong with having feelings you don't understand or queries about your present relationships - we all have them! However there seems to be more than one issue - particularly because your ex is still playing on your mind. I split up with someone i was with for 3 years about a month or so ago and despite it being hard to do at the time (it took me months to decide what my course of action was going to be) and still caring about him, i know i did the right thing and don't miss 'us' - because the relationship wasn't working anymore. If you can't get your ex out of your head then it appears you haven't moved on - theres nothing wrong with that, but you do need to allow yourself time to get over what you had with one person before you can move on. And then there is the issue of you wondring about your sexuality.. you can wonder about it all your life, but don't feel pressure to decide whether you want to be straight ot gay - people stay happily bisexual all their lives. If you're happy - s*d everyone else and their insecurties - you need to do what you feel is right for you. Maybe it is worth taking a step back, explain to your current partner you need time to evaluate whether or not you're ready for another relationship and time ti analyse how you feel. When you are more aware of your feelings and happier with yourself you'll be able to have a more relaxed relationship - whatever sex/ whoever you go with. Good luck and take care of yourself.x
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