Fostering/Adoption

[annafairytwo]

How do we tell our little girl (age 5) that we are not her natural parents?

[dot.hawkes]

make it just som ething she grows up aware of, before teenage angst and all that brings is an issue. Children are extremely level headed and if it is something that is always openly mentioned as part of your family's life, she will never feel you were not telling her or keeping secrets. You have a very special chance here.

[missyR]

I think this is the right age for you to tell her. You just need to apply it in a way she understands. Maybe get some of her barbies or bratz dolls (something male and female) and a small child barbie or bear and do a role play. Tell her that ken and barbie adopted a little girl who they loved very much from two parents who couldn't look after her. They knew ken and barbie would look after her and love her, etc. etc.
Then say she was adopted and you're not her real parents.
But you still love her very much and she can ask you any questions she wants. Good luck! x

[wiggal]

i dont really have much clue on this,
but i would say make sure you dont put her real parents down in any way, and let her know in a few years that when she is old enough, you will be happy to help her trace her real parents, if thats what she wants.

I wish you all the best
xxx

[proudmary]

Hi, I am raising my granddaughter as my own, she is now 6 and I recently told her who her real mummy was and that she loved her very much but couldn't look after her when she was a baby and becasue she is so special I asked if I could look after her, there were a few questions but nothing major and the next day she went to school and told everyone she had two mummy's!! As a family we talk openly about it and she is a very level headed little girl who knows she is adored.

[mycats]

Maybe tell her she is extra special because you chose her out of all the other boys and girls in the world? God luck x

[maviscoull]

my older daughter was really horrible to my younger daughter once and told her she was adopted ( shes not ) i said to my younger daughter that if that was the case then she was very special as she was CHOSEN. this shut my older daughter up in no time.

[janetsflower]

I was adopted as a baby and have virtually always known. We were on long car journey somewhere and and my mum said oh this is the way we came when we went to adopt you, of course that lead me to say what does adopt mean and she then expalined all the stuff about my birth mother not being able to cope and they wanted a baby and they chose me out of all the others etcetc, it was just a good way at casully dropping it into conversation rather than sitting me down to tell me specifically which might then have caused me to think it was a big issue. I just accepted it for what it was and still thought of my adoptive parents as mum and dad as i still and always will do Think i was about 4 or 5 at the time

[Kelmscott]

It is important that you introduce the fact as soon as possible,I have seen terrible problems when the situation was hidden, and the child found out in their teens from the Birth Certificate, which of course says "By Adoption". I dont know your curcumstances, but the Adoption Agency or Local Authority you obtained your child from should be able to advise you. The "You were specially chosen" theme seems a good one.
Of course,knowing the rigorous conditions you had to meet, it was yourselves who are "special".