ChatterBank2 mins ago
your ex
8 Answers
talkin to a guy in the bar where i work yesterday.
he says to me " i dont miss my ex-wife at all.
but i do dearly miss the woman i met and fell in love with and eventually married"
what he was trying to say was somewhere along the line she changed,
possibly he did too,
but that woman no longer existed.
can you relate to what he was saying?
does it make sense to you?
he says to me " i dont miss my ex-wife at all.
but i do dearly miss the woman i met and fell in love with and eventually married"
what he was trying to say was somewhere along the line she changed,
possibly he did too,
but that woman no longer existed.
can you relate to what he was saying?
does it make sense to you?
Answers
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Well yes and no. My wife and I split up over Christmas this year and she moved in with her new bloke whose American and lives there and they came over to pick the kids up on Tuesday to take back for a month or so ( we're sharing custody so no nasties through the courts etc).
We all had dinner together and I noticed that she was completely different to the woman I knew, not in a bad way, just a whole different dynamic about her, so yes I see what he means to some degree, but I do miss her an awful lot, as she's a wonderful person and I loved her to pieces.
They had known each other years ago and had a previous history when she was very young, so I am left wondering whether this "new" her, was the real her all along and I somehow missed it, or if people are different for each partner they have?
Certainly the she was drastically altered, but yeah I still miss her.
We all had dinner together and I noticed that she was completely different to the woman I knew, not in a bad way, just a whole different dynamic about her, so yes I see what he means to some degree, but I do miss her an awful lot, as she's a wonderful person and I loved her to pieces.
They had known each other years ago and had a previous history when she was very young, so I am left wondering whether this "new" her, was the real her all along and I somehow missed it, or if people are different for each partner they have?
Certainly the she was drastically altered, but yeah I still miss her.
Legend..It makes total sense to me. I had to endure 3 hours with my ex last night in a meeting for relations of drug takers. She has recently re-married,& all she could talk about were material things..holidays, new cars,clothes etc. She is not the woman I married 20 odd years ago. Gone has the sense of humour. All she seems to be bothered about is the image she projects ie She must go in the right wine bars, restaurants, even shopping in the trendiest super market.
She's definitely not the woman I married!
She's definitely not the woman I married!
Yes it makes total sense. I think that life in general and grown up responsibilities just change you and it's easy for the old you to be lost. I feel I'm essentially 'me' still BUT the fun me that was up for anything, did crazy things, totally spontaneous things has faded only to reappear occasionally.
I think women change more than men do too ( this is no criticism honestly it's just the way it often goes) - my husband is not that different, he still has the freedom to pursue the things he enjoys but I get bogged down with, work, childcare, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. all the hum drum things that need to be seen too. I'm not complaining it's just life - but it is sad that women are often seen to have 'changed' when what they have been doing is 'boring life stuff'. Recently I have met a couple of guys who had both left there wives for a more 'exciting' model and found that their ex had become a vibrant woman again and their new partner had turned in to a 'wife'.
Nox (X) I don't think your wife probably has changed that much she is just experiencing more 'freedom' from every day life. Again I stress it's no criticism but the humdrum can creep up on you and you realise that 'you' have got swamped under all the other family stuff.
I think women change more than men do too ( this is no criticism honestly it's just the way it often goes) - my husband is not that different, he still has the freedom to pursue the things he enjoys but I get bogged down with, work, childcare, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. all the hum drum things that need to be seen too. I'm not complaining it's just life - but it is sad that women are often seen to have 'changed' when what they have been doing is 'boring life stuff'. Recently I have met a couple of guys who had both left there wives for a more 'exciting' model and found that their ex had become a vibrant woman again and their new partner had turned in to a 'wife'.
Nox (X) I don't think your wife probably has changed that much she is just experiencing more 'freedom' from every day life. Again I stress it's no criticism but the humdrum can creep up on you and you realise that 'you' have got swamped under all the other family stuff.
i actually think for some, marriage is the kiss of death for a relationship.
you hear stories of people who had been together 15-20 year, yet split up 6 months after marrying.
i think the problem is 'ownership'.
people tend to be on their best behaviour at the start, and keep up the 'making an effort' for fear that their partner may leave them - this awareness that it could easily happen keeps them attentive.
however, once they marry, they feel, perhaps subconsciously, that they have 'won' and now no longer need to make and effort to impress, because they have already got what they wanted and they now 'own' their partner.
they can now relax and let the 'real' them come out, the side of them that they had been keeping quiet.
they know that although the parnter could leave they are less likely to if they agreed to marry and have to go through a lot of pain and trouble with a divorce.
cynical i know, but thats sometime how the human mind thinks.
you hear stories of people who had been together 15-20 year, yet split up 6 months after marrying.
i think the problem is 'ownership'.
people tend to be on their best behaviour at the start, and keep up the 'making an effort' for fear that their partner may leave them - this awareness that it could easily happen keeps them attentive.
however, once they marry, they feel, perhaps subconsciously, that they have 'won' and now no longer need to make and effort to impress, because they have already got what they wanted and they now 'own' their partner.
they can now relax and let the 'real' them come out, the side of them that they had been keeping quiet.
they know that although the parnter could leave they are less likely to if they agreed to marry and have to go through a lot of pain and trouble with a divorce.
cynical i know, but thats sometime how the human mind thinks.
hope this doesnt upset anyone but life ,married or single can be humdrum.
im afraid too many women,and men just give up too easily.
of course when they go with someone elkse they are looking happier ,rejuvenated .
but soon the honeymoon period is over and its back to the grind.
hellion i think youre taking a simplistic view of things.
in the end you can run away from your partner.
but you cant run away from yourself .
now thats a fact
im afraid too many women,and men just give up too easily.
of course when they go with someone elkse they are looking happier ,rejuvenated .
but soon the honeymoon period is over and its back to the grind.
hellion i think youre taking a simplistic view of things.
in the end you can run away from your partner.
but you cant run away from yourself .
now thats a fact
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