how important is it ?

[crete]

how important is fidelity in a relationship?

[Sasha13]

I should say here by the way that he's definitely not with someone else, but I'm quite sure if he saw something that took his fancy at the weekend he'd have no second thoughts about taking her home.

[4getmenot]

but when you want to move on it will be hard because he wont want anyone else to have you and will make you feel quilty because you didnt put a stop to the whole thing. He doesnt want you but he doesnt want anyone else to have you

[Sasha13]

Be interesting to put to the test but I don't think he would be like that at all. There's a natural conclusion to this anyway because he's moving away in the summer, but if I met someone before then this first guy wouldn't figure in my decision as to whether to start a relationship even if he did try to stop me (which as I've mentioned, he wouldn't).

[noxlumos]

I'll disagree with legend about being unable to have a "relationship" if fidelity isn't guaranteed.My wife has always given me a carte blanche to have sex with whomsoever I wished to whilst remaining faithful herself (her idea not mine).
This worked beautifully for 10 years, although I never took her up on the offer, until she met someone else and told me straight out that it was over.
I don't think necessarily fidelity comes into it, it's honesty that's important and we had that, hence we'er not still together.

[legend759]

no it worked because you didnt do anything.
when she decided she wanted to the it was over.

i dunno.but i couldnt have a relationship that was without fidelity.
without that theres no trust ergo theres no real relationship.
maybe a facade of one .
that will eventually crumble.

but whos to say im right eh?

[legend759]

a short answer is fidelity and trust are cornerstones of a good relationship.
they are vitla in my opinion.
but thats all it is .
my opinion.

[RATTER15]

I don't think there is anything more important than fidelity, without it, you have very little!!

[noxlumos]

You missed the point of what I was trying to say Legend. I was saying that where there is a desperate neediness for fidelity, your chances of having absolute honesty are very low, because of the reprisals and repercussions.
Also you don't know my wife and aren't really equipped to say that our mariage worked for ten years because I didn't have sex with anyone else. That isn't the reason at all. It worked because we loved and respected each other and OUR values, not yours. We always said if it ever ended under ANY circumstances that we would be the best of friends and we're working really hard to make that a reality for the same reasons.