Online relationships ... when to know if they're going somewhere?

[leecamowol]

Hi, I'm 24, bisexual male who has only had one relationship (lasted 3 years, engaged but got dumped in Sept 06). After struggling to get over my ex I did go with a (my first) guy in Jan a few times, we weren't seeing each other as such just had fun a few times ... we met online and immediately I met him ... it does feel more of a rebound thing as it happened when I found out my ex had a new fella. But since then I've had a load of contact with guys via online but one in particular contacted me and we've been in regular (pretty much everyday/other day) email contact ever since and more recently we swapped numbers so we text pretty much everyday. We know a lot about each other now and more recently the contact has had moments of "risque" comments. But he lives around 30 miles from me and his workload at the mo (trainee teacher almost finishing training!) and mine mean we've not really had an opportunity to suggest meeting up. But I really like him from what I know and in fact keep "putting off" other guys (locally!) because of him. So really I'm wondering this whole online relationship thing ... how can you tell if something is really going somewhere and how long before it becomes "real"? Obviously a big factor will be where he gets a new teaching post as if he moves completely out of the area I'm guessing that's that. It feels odd as a few guys want to go for drinks with me etc but I almost feel like I'm "cheating" on this other guy ... as I want to know if we might have anything before I go elsewhere. Thanks!

[Reverandfunk]

Talking from past experiences of meeting people online, the best thing you can do is meet this guy asap. It's one thing talking online but totally different in person, will you have that spark, are you attracted to him etc etc. I suggest you meet as soon as you can and as for the rest of it just play it by ear, where there's a will there's a way!

[leecamowol]

Thanks rev. I believe/hope that the fact he keep's mentioning the fact that his 2nd week of the Easter hols he's planning to not have any work to do so I've been wondering if that is a hint at a possible meet up. I have to say this online stuff is a real head f***, as you rightly say you don't know them in reality but the feelings I have now and my whole attitude towards him is so "connected" to him already (plus I pretty sure I can say that I can trust what he has said as it all matches up on the various social websites [myspace, facebook etc] so I'm pretty sure what I see is truly what I'll get). He even revealed his biggest secret to me last night!

[Reverandfunk]

I hope it does work out, I'd even suggest meeting before Easter as that's still a couple of weeks away and if it carrys on the way it has been your head will be totally done in by then lol. I met someone 3 weeks ago who has totally turned my world upside down (for all the right reasons) and although we met online we didn't really talk online and met after a week. I think sometimes you can do the online bit to death (not always by choice I know) but it's nice to something but not everything about the person. U'll know within 2 minutes if it's right or not, so just say not being able to see him is doin your head in and get together!

[coco2]

Think of the men you have turned down!!! One of them could have been the love of yuor life or even a great friend. one thing i have learnt is dont sit around waiting for anyone - if someone really wanted you they would make the effort however busy they are. i dont mean that nastily but you are young - get out there and enjoy yourself.

Just be safe!! i have got two freinds who are into internet dating and they have met quite a few men - the majority seem to be after sex. they have found themselves in some awkward situations. I also know a few people who have met the love of their life on the net. As i said go out and enjoy yourself ! most importantly dont have any regrets.

[leecamowol]

Thanks Rev. Would you believe it after more contact again he's asked if I fancy meeting up next weekend but sod's law is very cruel. On Friday night it's a works do that we've been organising for a month then on Saturday I'm going to a footie match and meal with a bloke I sort of know from my last job who "came out" to me last week and is feeling very depressed as he's jut broken up with his fella of 13 years (so I'm thinking I can hardly let him down now especially as he's so "happy that his favourite boy" has decided to go with him - also think he's got a soft spot for me but I haven't for him so hopefully it's just friendship he's after!!) And to top it off a local lad has been in contact with me too, just really started off but already he seems very keen!!

I keep being told not to put all my eggs in one basket (as I used to be the type of person who who cling to someone) but at the moment I feel like I'm juggling my eggs trying not to drop any of them!!