Am I over reacting?

[curly~sue]

Hello!

I have a friend that I have known since we were very small, and we grew up very close, and still were until recently. She moved away and met a man, who she married in a quiet ceremony abroad.

When they came back, myself and a few of our other friends went round to watch the wedding video. She said they'd be having a reception soon and that they would see us then. We kept in contact, mainly through text and email as they move around quite a lot, and I text her a little while ago to say 'happy anniversary' etc. She replied that they had had a nice day and had family over the night before.

I have just looked on her myspace page and seen that on that day, she in fact had a wedding reception! Wedding dress, cake, hundreds of guests. Neither myself or any of the supposedly close friends that went to her house that day were invited. Is it right that I feel upset?

[4getmenot]

yes, delete her number from your phone. !!! Nah I'm joking, entirely up to you, if you are really close then I would get rid as she should have invited you but if you're just mates that see each other from time to time really not worth getting yourself upset about it and leave her do get intouch with you.

[curly~sue]

Thanks 4getmenot. I think maybe I'm being silly. It is just that there were people there that she hasn't known long and I felt put out Thankyou though.

[4getmenot]

her loss

[ummmm]

People move on. Lot's of the 'friends' may have been his choice.

[Champagne]

At least other �longterm� friends were omitted so you know it�s not just you! But it sounds to me like she�s either decided to start with a clean slate (thus abandoning all her old friends) or the people at the wedding were just family (though by the sounds of the party it doesn�t seem so). Either way she�s not being honest with you. Why don�t you drop her an email and casually mention that you like her MySpace site and it looks like she�s having lots of fun. See what she comes back with.

The worst case scenario is that you have to cut your ties with this friend, but hopefully it won�t come to that if you can find out what she�s playing at. She needs to be honest with you.

[mccfluff]

that would upset me, not sure what you should do about it though

[nat_84]

I'd be really pi$$ed off too in your case.

I think you and your other mates should stick together. She's obviously got this new fella and forgotten about her real friends...

[Octavius]

Fine to be a bit upset, but don�t let it dog your life for any more than half a day. There could be any number of reasons why she might not have been able to invite you (I wouldn�t view it as you being excluded � perhaps she is just not close enough to you any more). As 4get says, just let it go and let her get in touch with you in the future, if she doesn�t then let it go and move on with your own life and friends.

[curly~sue]

Thank you all. My friends are great and we shall always remain close. One is particularly furious, however as when she spoke to her only weeks ago, she "didn't know when she would be able to afford a reception". Never mind. I might do what you said Champagne, and mention her myspace page. At least then she shall know we know she lied.

[4getmenot]

leave her a message on myspace, saying that the reception sounds lovely :-)

[Mammar]

Do you think she is "embellishing the truth" a little on the myspace site to make it sound better than it was?
You saw the video - why would she have videoed the simple ceremony and not had one of the big "do"?
Either way, aren't people funny?

[Scarlett]

I think she needs to know that you know. I would post a message on her myspace page something like "Oh! You've had your reception!! Hope you had a lovely day anyway. x x x"
This will show no hard feelings, but will also make her realise she owes you an explanation. That's what I'd do!

[joko]

perhaps as weddings are so expensive, she decided only to invite people who are in her life all the time and family, and as she knew you lot were old friends, she arranged the screening just for you...

also the venue may have been too far away from you...?

[shineybomb]

Similar thing happened to me at the end of last year. My best friend from school got married. 6 months before the wedding she called me up telling me she was getting married and invited me. Months passed and no wedding invitation. After inviting me she seemed to have changed her mind and never sent me the invitation.

We do still speak but I don't want to ask about it - even though I know I should

[foxydivano1]

Yes completely - shes supposed to be a friend but didnt invite you and then lied to you.... I'm sure its her loss hun :)

[Octavius]

Crikey, what is it with women and weddings? It seems to bring the worst out in all of them, even the bride!

It�s a bit sad that you, as a friend, didn�t get an invite to the wedding reception and that probably should tell you something about how she values your friendship. Having said that (and I repeat) there could be loads of other reasons she didn�t invite you, I didn�t invite some of my friends to mine � c�est la vie.

I think if you are really miffed just ask her why you weren�t invited. I certainly don�t think she should be made to feel guilty or owe you an explanation. It was her day and she had the people she wanted to make it a wonderful day, just because you were left out of that doesn�t make her Mrs Evil.

[society]

hi curly,

i think your (so-called) friend means more to you than you mean to her. if someone i considered as a friend did that to me i would not stop speaking to them, but i would not go out of my way for them, or make an extra effort for their sake. i am the type of person who would let them know what i know about the myspace page and how i feel, then treat them as an acquaintance. i don't allow others to use me.

take care and choose your friend wisely :-)

[curly~sue]

Thank you again all of you. Your answers have been very, very helpful. Another friend of mine texted her and asked if she was planning on having a reception, and she replied that they didn't think they could afford it. As I say, never mind.

Thank you Octavious. It's more about the lying and the fact she'd unofficially invited us to it when we'd watched her video. Thanks again, curly~sue.