Todays Poll

[FlowerPetal]

I was REALLY shocked to see the results of todays poll (05/04/07) about caring for a relative.

I really thought the results would have been higher for people to have looked after relatives themselves - not ship them off to the nearest care home/hospice.

Some of us carers didnt have a choice. We save the country �57 billion a year by being paid a pittence.

I'm not critising anybody, i would like people to consider the carers who have no other choice but to put themselves and the rest of the family on the bread line to care for a loved one.

What are your opinions??

[missyR]

I think carers do a grand job giving their time and patience and devote themselves to those who have cared for them is something short of a mracle - however i admire for other folk who may not be as patient or think their relatives would be better in a hospice where they can get the appropriate care needed. It also depends on the condition that the relative may have.

[joko]

its all very noble, caring for your sick elderly relatives, but it isn;t that simple, and it certainly doesn't mean that a person cares less!!

one of the reasons is the one you state yourself - if you are caring you can't work so you end up on the breadline.
far better to work and pay a carer or a home.

why make your own life - and your family - life miserable just to be 'noble'??
how many years are you supposed to live in poverty and struggling when there are professionals available to give all the care they need?
fair enough if you know it will only be for a few months but what it its 5 -10 even 20 years?

some also need specialist 24 hour care that the average person is not equipped to deal with, perhaps dementia, bursts of agression, certain medical requirements etc
these sorts of thing can be heartbreaking for a person to deal with - watching a loved one become unrecognisable.

you may think its selfish not to want to live what could be 10 years of your life this way and feel that as they brought us up we should do the same, but parents choose to have kids and know what they are getting into.

i would rather be in a home than feel i was stopping my child from living their life to the full.
i would have lived my life, and want them to live theirs, not be trapped by wiping my arse and spoonfeeding me.
i would also prefer a stranger to do these things not my own family, less embarrassing.

of course this is assuming they are ill, or incapable of looking after themselves - if they are well and can carry on generally as usual, just need general care and assistance, then i would have no problem having them live with me.

[FlowerPetal]

i agree, but i also feel that for thousands of carers, the option for moving their loved ones to a care home is just really not an option for them, many people cannot afford a care home on their wages.

joko, i would like to point out that i never said that moving them to a care home/hospice meant that the person cared less. It was just that the poll really surprised me with the results.

As i had said, im not critising - just wanted an opinion form people - i belong to many carers forums and this conversation crops up weekly if not daily and it would be nice to get an Non-carers point of vew

Flower xx

[ummmm]

I looked after my Uncle for about a year but I was in the fortunate position of working from home.

He was taken ill suddenly and spent three months in hospital. That was the hardest part of the care. I lost all respect for the NHS in those three months. My sister and I took it in turns to be at the hospital for breakfast, lunch and dinner or they wouldn't have fed him (he couldn't move his arms). We washed him, shaved him, took him to the toilet etc. while the nurses sat at the nurse station having a chat.

He moved in with me when he was discharged from hospital and stayed until he was able to look after himself. He moved into a flat and although he could care for himself to a certain extent he still needed day to help with cooking and cleaning etc. 5 years later we still help him and I do not begrudge a minute of it and would care for him full time if need be.