on the bus

[bobtheduck-]

when was the last time you got on a bus and a huge lady with several tonnes of shopping sat down beside you crushing you against the window with a bottle of toilet duck stabbing you in the ribs around every corner, this happened to me today when this huge beast with facial hair a woolly mammoth would have been proud off and a skirt that resembled a large carpet sat down beside me, i missed my stop as i was unable to get past the mountainous figure and ended up having to walk home in an april shower soaking my fawn slacks to the extent my maroon underpants could be seen through them what can i do to prevent this happening again?

[NORMANTHEDOG]

you poor duck

[RATTER15]

Would you please stop all this inane and tedious cr@p!! LOL

Do what I done, divorce her!!!

[bobtheduck-]

your inaneness is getting tedious ratter it really isnt acceptable

[unruliejulie]

bob, if id known that was you i would have said hello! next time i sit next to you on the bus home, at least say hi wont you!

[curlyfilm]

last time i was on the bus, as it pulled away from a bus stop, i large chested woman fell on me, then profusely, apologaised, i dont know what for, it was my pleasure!

[RATTER15]

did you know that inaneness spelt backwards is ssenenani!!

Hows that for inane tedious cr@p

is there such a word as inaneness?

[curlyfilm]

ahhhh its a problem in my life, nevermind it could be worse!!!

[carrot99]

wear your matching fawn underpants Bob!

[redhead23]

oh bob !!! how you made me laugh when i read this , you know what i would just be grateful if a human sat next to me at all so count yourself lucky man lol

[Katie~77]

I'm sorry Bob, have I missed something????? Why do you want to prevent this happening again??????????x

[jump79]

Bob, I suppose someone must answer your Q, try to ignore the 13 posts above.

-carry an enormous hiking (empty) rucksack and put it on the seat next to yours on the bus, then lie back and look tired and keep your eyes closed

-or you could take a bottle of apple juice along and spill some on the seat next to you, and if someone passes by, shrug your shoulders and look a bit disgusted in a ''it wasn't me'' kind of way

-also, wear water resistant, fawn coloured underpants or always carry a cardigan you can tie around your waist (it can hide so much)
Good luck

[Dee Sa]

your posting has put a smile on my face this morning, talk about "Sponge Bob".
I promise not to sit next to you ever again !!!!