foot in mouth

[Baby Jane]

I have just said something then wished the ground would open and swallow me up. I asked a delivery bloke if he would like to "put it up my passage" Dont know whose face was the reddest.

[B00]

rofl, excellent!

I work at the local Co Op on the checkout (glamorous eh?) and when a customer wants to pay for their shopping they have to put their card in the little machine thingy. Nine times out of ten they seem to struggle to do this (not particular bright our customers) and I have to tell em how to do it. The times I've tried desperately to think of something other than "just slip it in, and push it up" due to the suggestive comments and guffaws, alas I never seem to think of another way to put it. The worst thing is I know exactly how that statement can come across before I even say it, but can't think of owt else at the time- so if you've any suggestions, I'd be grateful!

[nannon]

oh my god i just nearly choked on my sandwich - i would have loved to have been there!!
Thanks for making me smile today!!

[Baby Jane]

Boo

Yes I can see what you mean, there arent a lot of alternatives are there, of course you do know that if I hear that said in a shop to me Im going to pmsl

nannon
The thing is he is coming back tomorrow with the blinds for my BACK passage,but Im staying quiet !!

[Robinia]

hahaha -brilliant Baby Jane!

where I live we all have an area which we call our 'back passage'...every other house has a manhole out there...

we all had blocked drains - men arrive -
"where's ya manhole luv?".................
I'll let you guess the answer

hope you're ok btw, not seen you around much :o)

[Baby Jane]

Robinia
Hello darlin, I was away for awhile but everyone welcomed me back. Lovely to hear from you,are you keeping well?
That was so funny about the manhole covers, I can imagine the answer.

lol
xxx

[bigmamma]

LOL !!!
What a delightfully funny thread .

[bigmamma]

I once answered the door to a repair man who had come to fix my bedroom radiator. Without thinking I innocently told him he could come in and wait as I had a man in my bedroom already. ( I had someone upstairs fixing a window )

[Baby Jane]

HI bigmamma

You can hear these things leave your mouth and theres not a thing you can do about is there?

lol
xxx

[Loosehead]

Boo How about: "just slide it into my slot"

[bigmamma]

Thats true baby jane . too late to try and mutter something else to try to cover it up either.
I was in town some weeks ago with my son and I reminded him he needed batteries for his bedside alarm clock. He said he had found some in the house so didn't need any.
Well, just as the shopping centre seemed to hang on my every word I said , loudly, you didnt take the spare batteries out of my bedroom did you !!!!
Needless to say , no-one else was thinking of alarm clocks !!!! :-o

[Baby Jane]

When my brother asked our mum what she wanted for her birthday she said "no jewellry or perfume, but I wouldnt mind a mahogany dildo" He said to us later "I hope she meant dado"

Boo
I dare you to say what Loosehead suggests!