holidaying with the ex :o(

[jen85]

hiya. just want a few opinions please. im new to all this answerbank lark and thought it would be a good place to get some advice. my boyfriend of a 2 years is off on holiday to ibiza in august with his mates. im not overly happy about it not because i think he will cheat on me because i trust him but i know that the alcohol will be flowing freely every night and he isn't to responsible when drunk. iv just found out that his ex gf is also holidaying in the same place at the same time as him. he didnt tell me and i found out through a friend. he said he didnt want to worry me even more. im really annoyed one that he didnt tell me and now of course im not comfortable with it. thats the first thing.
second thing is my ex is coming home from a year travelling in a few weeks and my bf has thrown in a few comments that i better not see him or go near him or talk to him etc. i texted him bk today saying of course i wont and that him coming home isnt half as bad as being drunk and on holiday with his ex so consider how i feel. i havent heard back since. was i in the wrong?

[~Wingnut~]

Hmm ok so he can go away on holiday where his ex just so happens to be holidaying also (which he failed to tell you about) yet your not allowed to go anywhere near your EX who is back after a year travelling! You say you trust him but it doesn't sound like he trusts you or even that he has much respect for you if he tells you what you can do and who you can and can not talk to!

You haven't heard back becasue he can't reply! He knows he is in the wrong for telling you not to speak to your EX the way he has, yet he is away with his! It's called double standards.
I bet if you went out on the town whilst he is away he wouldn't be too happy about it either eh? Or has he already said he doesn't want you going out whilst he is away?

Incidently no your not wrong! :o)

[redhead23]

jen
i think you was correct i would feel exactly the same as you if i was in your situation .
its a cheek asking you not to talk to your ex when he is holidaying with his and did not even TELL YOU X

[888sally888]

no your not wrong - I would be annoyed as well

[tiggertan]

I totally agree with you, but.... whilst you're worrying about him with an ex, he'll be spending his holiday wondering about you with an ex! If he cheats, he'll have to make sure his mates keep quiet too. Clearly trust is a big issue but if you don't have that between you after two years maybe you both need to sit down and talk about your problems with it. Alternatively, grab the girls and go on holiday yourselves!

[I_Tried]

why don't all of you just go on holiday together and have a foursome with the ex's and the current b/f g/f and then come back on answerbank and let us solve another dillema for you :)

Mr. T A crazy fool

[wleshbeetle]

you are def not in the wrong id be tamping!"

[jen85]

thank u for the replies. he texted me yesterday evening and after a few texts back and forth about it, he rung me. he was very keen to know all the details about when my ex is home and if iv spoken to him recently. i guess he is becoming quite insecure now that he knows it is only a few weeks off him coming home. i think it makes it worse because when he left to travel i was still with him and then i meet my bf now and decided i wanted a life with him instead. before u all judge...i ended it with my ex way before we began our relationship. so in a way i can understand his insecurities. today he has continued to be a bit funny with me although he did get some bad news this morning so iv put it down to that. iv tried to be understanding but he seems to want to be on his own at the moment although he has asked me to go to his house later. iv tried reassuring him everything is fine but i dont know whether im missing something here. he has a few things going on right now which may make him upset but i just want to b there for him. i dont know whether to leave him to it and just be there when he wants me or see if i can help in anyway. sorry to rant again, i just love him loads

[redhead23]

you can still be there but try not to get fobbed if with giving sympathy (unless its a very good reason) he may be trying to make u feel guilty and to take the pressure off him , so you stop asking questions about holiday

if you were as solid as you seem to think you are though , i dont know why you are so worried

but then again you are human and actually i would be too , so dismiss that , could you not go along to ?

do u believe when he drinks something could happen with his ex ?

[jen85]

no i dont think he would do anything wit his ex. what makes it worse is that they have a 3 year old baby boy together. i just hate the idea of them being out in the same clubs every night. something is still not right today. i went to his last night and we had a nice cuddle, kisses and the rest ;o) he kept telling me he loved me and stuff which is really sweet and i love all that kinda romantic stuff. today we r texting each other and i can tell everything isn't right again. he didnt reply so i texted again asking what we r doing tonight because friday night is usually 'our' night together. he replied straight away saying he is out with mates tonight. i dont mind him going out with his friends its just normally he lets me know without me asking so i can make my own plans. it seems like his is avoiding speaking to me today