ChatterBank8 mins ago
an opinion needed
37 Answers
ok so basically i need to explain the situation first. right theres this guy and i have had serious feelings for him over the past year and he is aware of how i feel about him but the thing is he is one big anti-love. he hates relationships never wants one ever again and despises love because hes been hurt bad before, so yeah im pretty screwed. hes a bit confused and living indenial atm. anyways we are great friends despite that i have feelings for him we are best mates. anyway the other night i had a dream about him, i dream him quite a bit but never like this. it was really errotic we were actually having sex and it was very graphic and i have never had a dream that seemed so real, i woke up in a sweat and also crying lol and could still feel him which was really weird. anyways i cant it out of my head so i wrote a, shall i say, very detailed version of that particular part of the dream as its the only way i could get it out of my system. but now i really want someone to read it and tell me what they think, whether its any good. but i cant ask someone who knows me as its fair to embarrassing so i thought id get some strangers to read it and tell me what you guys think. do your reckon you could do that for me? if so reply yes and i'll past it up in a bit. thanks hang on just had a thought will be it be ok to past that kinda thing on here cos its very erm full on.?????
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clearly you cannot take criticism
3 huge waffley posts tell me that
you asked for people to give opinions on your writing -what did you seriously expect? - everyone to say it was utterly fabulous & the best piece of writing they�ve ever read?
it really isn't
I thought you wanted to know where your writing was failing so you could improve -you didn�t explain that this was just a one off ramble, I assumed that you were considering perhaps a career -you give the impression you want to be a writer
so i addressed your writing that way
believe it or not I was trying to help. I�m sorry you�re clearly upset by my words, but as I stated it was not to offend
you should've explained you were just looking for people to say ''ooh that�s good, you should be a professional'', but you asked for genuine opinions
If everyone just says �its great�, you�ll get a real shock when someone who�s not interested in being polite gets their hands on your work!
Think about the devastation & humiliation on the faces of all those Pop Idol contestants, whose family has cruelly convinced them that theyre amazing singers, out of some misguided loyalty..?
Flattery does no-one any good in the long run
i addressed the points that stood out so you could work on them � its hard to view your own work subjectively -especially if its a real situation
your reactions to each individual point, are irrelevant & mostly wrong � & its clear you have misunderstood the points I was trying to make (read it again when you�re calm) - you claim much of it is deliberate & give petty explanations of why you said this & that - & bizarrely something about a top you can't afford -well how is any reader supposed to know all that?
you cannot follow readers about explaining things, it has to be clear from the writing, & the fact that it took you 3 posts to explain it all, shows your writing is
3 huge waffley posts tell me that
you asked for people to give opinions on your writing -what did you seriously expect? - everyone to say it was utterly fabulous & the best piece of writing they�ve ever read?
it really isn't
I thought you wanted to know where your writing was failing so you could improve -you didn�t explain that this was just a one off ramble, I assumed that you were considering perhaps a career -you give the impression you want to be a writer
so i addressed your writing that way
believe it or not I was trying to help. I�m sorry you�re clearly upset by my words, but as I stated it was not to offend
you should've explained you were just looking for people to say ''ooh that�s good, you should be a professional'', but you asked for genuine opinions
If everyone just says �its great�, you�ll get a real shock when someone who�s not interested in being polite gets their hands on your work!
Think about the devastation & humiliation on the faces of all those Pop Idol contestants, whose family has cruelly convinced them that theyre amazing singers, out of some misguided loyalty..?
Flattery does no-one any good in the long run
i addressed the points that stood out so you could work on them � its hard to view your own work subjectively -especially if its a real situation
your reactions to each individual point, are irrelevant & mostly wrong � & its clear you have misunderstood the points I was trying to make (read it again when you�re calm) - you claim much of it is deliberate & give petty explanations of why you said this & that - & bizarrely something about a top you can't afford -well how is any reader supposed to know all that?
you cannot follow readers about explaining things, it has to be clear from the writing, & the fact that it took you 3 posts to explain it all, shows your writing is
is unclear.
point is, as a reader, those things jumped out at me, & they will to others too.
you cannot demand readers like & accept all your own little ways -they simply won't.
writers must write what the readers want to read, in a way they understand (if you want them to like it) -you cannot just write any old gumpf & expect everyone to love it.
Sometimes, its not so much what you write, as the way you write it thats the skill.
anyone can write a description of an event -the skill lies in drawing the reader in, keeping their interest, making them care & remember it afterwards
you don't care about spelling & grammar etc? -well if you want your meaning to be understood fully, you should
i lost the thread a few times because of the punctuation etc
this spoils the mood
i really don't give a toss about your writing & this dream that you think is some great thing that everyone should read & love -you asked for a critique & you got one - a real one - the fact that it wasn't gushing with praise & you didn't like it is just tough
should you ever decide to become a writer (seriously don't) you will hear lot harsher remarks than mine, if you present this to them
You can buy a critique of your work from a professional writer for very little, I�d say about �5-10 for your length �look on the net for this� try it & then come back & tell us � you�ll see that what I said was not just trying to be mean, but trying to be honest & helpful
i realise its not pleasant to read something unflattering, but seriously, with no training, no knowledge of how to construct a written passage, no proper effort, a first draft, no editing, no real story, what did you expect? really?
you think you�re just a natural wordsmith?
nowhere near, I�m afraid
point is, as a reader, those things jumped out at me, & they will to others too.
you cannot demand readers like & accept all your own little ways -they simply won't.
writers must write what the readers want to read, in a way they understand (if you want them to like it) -you cannot just write any old gumpf & expect everyone to love it.
Sometimes, its not so much what you write, as the way you write it thats the skill.
anyone can write a description of an event -the skill lies in drawing the reader in, keeping their interest, making them care & remember it afterwards
you don't care about spelling & grammar etc? -well if you want your meaning to be understood fully, you should
i lost the thread a few times because of the punctuation etc
this spoils the mood
i really don't give a toss about your writing & this dream that you think is some great thing that everyone should read & love -you asked for a critique & you got one - a real one - the fact that it wasn't gushing with praise & you didn't like it is just tough
should you ever decide to become a writer (seriously don't) you will hear lot harsher remarks than mine, if you present this to them
You can buy a critique of your work from a professional writer for very little, I�d say about �5-10 for your length �look on the net for this� try it & then come back & tell us � you�ll see that what I said was not just trying to be mean, but trying to be honest & helpful
i realise its not pleasant to read something unflattering, but seriously, with no training, no knowledge of how to construct a written passage, no proper effort, a first draft, no editing, no real story, what did you expect? really?
you think you�re just a natural wordsmith?
nowhere near, I�m afraid
..................phew! cant beleive i've just read all that, i just dont get WHY you were so insistant on sharing it with people on here? i'll make my reply a damn sight shorter than joko's...............TOSH, and for all the reasons that joko stated, you wanted an opinion and thats exactly what you got, why dont you let the bloke have a shufty and see what he thinks?
Sorry but i just dont get it?
Sorry but i just dont get it?
joko, believe me i can take criticism and i have in this instant. after taking up with you what i had said i, looked back over my writing and edited it accordingly and now i believe it to be alot better. i have a better understanding of what you were getting at with some points i.e. my over description and irrelevant explanations. so thank you for your advice.
also i believe you to be a very clear, observational person but you must understand im not at all affended by what you said, merely enlightened.
i entirely agree with you about flattery doing no-one any good in the long run but then neither does your abrubt, unecessary and harsh tone. 6 accusational posts tell me this, even by your first comment i had you down to be rude and overly critical.
i do intended to be a writer. and just out of curiosity are you a writer? or possibly a critic? because you seem to give the impression you have a good understanding of the writing world and the way you have analysed my work...or possibly jut a person with too much time on their hands?
also i believe you to be a very clear, observational person but you must understand im not at all affended by what you said, merely enlightened.
i entirely agree with you about flattery doing no-one any good in the long run but then neither does your abrubt, unecessary and harsh tone. 6 accusational posts tell me this, even by your first comment i had you down to be rude and overly critical.
i do intended to be a writer. and just out of curiosity are you a writer? or possibly a critic? because you seem to give the impression you have a good understanding of the writing world and the way you have analysed my work...or possibly jut a person with too much time on their hands?
its interesting considering you really dont give a toss about my writing or dream that you have got so involved with critising it, jumping down my throat and actually being interested enough to respond in the first place and furthermore being the only one to reply, this should tell you something too. if theres nothing more tedious then listening to peoples dreams also, why reply?
i am aware i asked for an opinion and that is what i got the only reason i came back with what i did, even though there were alot of valid points, which know i do see, i could also see alot of holes in what you had said.
i have re-read what i wrote in response and understand it may come across like i cant take criticism, i was merely defending myself and explaining why i did what i did.
in future i will be more open to criticism and joko, i would suggest you should be less quick to criticise.
i am aware i asked for an opinion and that is what i got the only reason i came back with what i did, even though there were alot of valid points, which know i do see, i could also see alot of holes in what you had said.
i have re-read what i wrote in response and understand it may come across like i cant take criticism, i was merely defending myself and explaining why i did what i did.
in future i will be more open to criticism and joko, i would suggest you should be less quick to criticise.
curlyperm, i just wanted to see what people because i show them other stuff i have written but i couldnt face showing friends or family. i just wanted to know how it came across. what did you think? i am tempted to show it to the the guy but i cant he'd run a mile lol i would love to know what he would make of it tho.
well you dont have to tell him you wrote it do you? just leave it lying around or post it to him, he doesnt have to know that hes the leading role!! lol
As i said its not really my thing years ago in my early teens i used to read all those type of mags, then i got sh*t on a few times and realised that lifes not really like that, so moved on and now tend to stick to reading biographies ; )
As i said its not really my thing years ago in my early teens i used to read all those type of mags, then i got sh*t on a few times and realised that lifes not really like that, so moved on and now tend to stick to reading biographies ; )
i really don't care about your dream - why the hell would i?
i responded to a request for a critique on writing style - that it happened to be a dream is irrelevant.
you then changed your mind on what you wanted and appeared to want to able to write anything you like, in any way you like, and expect to be hailed as the new danielle steel!
i did not reply with the intention of being mean, just honest and like i said, i really don't care if you don't like what i
said - i knew you wouldn't like it, but i didn't expect a petulant whinge, an attempt at a defence for dreadful writing, bizarre and irrelevant explanations, accusations of cruelty, and generally a mishmash of waffle.
you have clearly made little or no effort with this, just churned it out and expected it to be a work of genuis!
you have to learn the craft and work at if you want any sort of success.
were you hoping to be ''discovered perhaps''...lol
i did not just down your throat - until you jumped down mine!
believe me you must develop a thicker skin and and a more subjective attitude, because you are heading for a lot of criticism and rejection letters.
clearly you felt i was abrupt and rude but there simply isn't the space to pepper my writing with pleasantries just so as your ego does not get bruised.
i responded to a request for a critique on writing style - that it happened to be a dream is irrelevant.
you then changed your mind on what you wanted and appeared to want to able to write anything you like, in any way you like, and expect to be hailed as the new danielle steel!
i did not reply with the intention of being mean, just honest and like i said, i really don't care if you don't like what i
said - i knew you wouldn't like it, but i didn't expect a petulant whinge, an attempt at a defence for dreadful writing, bizarre and irrelevant explanations, accusations of cruelty, and generally a mishmash of waffle.
you have clearly made little or no effort with this, just churned it out and expected it to be a work of genuis!
you have to learn the craft and work at if you want any sort of success.
were you hoping to be ''discovered perhaps''...lol
i did not just down your throat - until you jumped down mine!
believe me you must develop a thicker skin and and a more subjective attitude, because you are heading for a lot of criticism and rejection letters.
clearly you felt i was abrupt and rude but there simply isn't the space to pepper my writing with pleasantries just so as your ego does not get bruised.
you accuse me of 6 ''accusations''...mmm... that you see them as ''accusations'' is interesting
like i said, i haven't the time to worry about how you might take every little nuance of my post - thats the thing about writing on here, things get misunderstood and taken wrongly - i said at the start, don't be offended as that is not my aim and then i finished the post with a few positives - that there weren't very many positives is not my fault, i added them to soften what i knew would make you feel bad - anyone would feel bad when their work has been criticised.
you need to learn the difference between personal criticism and constructive criticism - the two are very different and have different motives.
quick to criticise? it is a CRITIQUE - that you aksed for!
what are you talking about??
if you get this defensive and upset about what you yourself admitt is rough draft, a cobbled together first attempt, with no editing, no construction or real thought or effort, god knows how you will cope when you have toiled over a piece for months - and it gets a bad review! i can't believe you expected praise!
i would suggest giving up now!
I would suggest you read a few published books of that genre � you will see they are brimming with, ��getting lost in those eyes�� type clich�s.
also i wrote the crit in about 10 minutes - hardly a waste of a whole day - so your rather feeble attempt at a dig at me is somewhat deflated.
you really will have to do much better than this if you want to get anywhere... deal with it.
like i said, i haven't the time to worry about how you might take every little nuance of my post - thats the thing about writing on here, things get misunderstood and taken wrongly - i said at the start, don't be offended as that is not my aim and then i finished the post with a few positives - that there weren't very many positives is not my fault, i added them to soften what i knew would make you feel bad - anyone would feel bad when their work has been criticised.
you need to learn the difference between personal criticism and constructive criticism - the two are very different and have different motives.
quick to criticise? it is a CRITIQUE - that you aksed for!
what are you talking about??
if you get this defensive and upset about what you yourself admitt is rough draft, a cobbled together first attempt, with no editing, no construction or real thought or effort, god knows how you will cope when you have toiled over a piece for months - and it gets a bad review! i can't believe you expected praise!
i would suggest giving up now!
I would suggest you read a few published books of that genre � you will see they are brimming with, ��getting lost in those eyes�� type clich�s.
also i wrote the crit in about 10 minutes - hardly a waste of a whole day - so your rather feeble attempt at a dig at me is somewhat deflated.
you really will have to do much better than this if you want to get anywhere... deal with it.
lol ooooh crawl out of your own arse, i may have a problem with accepting criticisim but you have a problem with a rather large ego! lol
all in saying is that i know you did offer some praise but it was pretty much all negatives and although it may not be a real art of work, i know it wasnt that ***** as you made out to be. i think you need to ligthten up a bit, not take everything so seriously and also not assume other people take what you have to say so seriously, as far as i know im not at all upset by what you have to say but meh i guess the feeling is mutual.
also you misunderstood me i acused you of 6 accusational posts, as in referring to your tone and abrubt manner, not 6 accusations and whilist you make me out to be fairly dumb and reasonably naive in the world of words, i would appreciate if you at least read my comments properly.
btw out curiosity what do you think catcher in the rye? good at analysing? i'll be interested to know what you think of this...
congratulations btw impressive stuff you come out with...i reckon you should be a laywer
all in saying is that i know you did offer some praise but it was pretty much all negatives and although it may not be a real art of work, i know it wasnt that ***** as you made out to be. i think you need to ligthten up a bit, not take everything so seriously and also not assume other people take what you have to say so seriously, as far as i know im not at all upset by what you have to say but meh i guess the feeling is mutual.
also you misunderstood me i acused you of 6 accusational posts, as in referring to your tone and abrubt manner, not 6 accusations and whilist you make me out to be fairly dumb and reasonably naive in the world of words, i would appreciate if you at least read my comments properly.
btw out curiosity what do you think catcher in the rye? good at analysing? i'll be interested to know what you think of this...
congratulations btw impressive stuff you come out with...i reckon you should be a laywer
as i have said, rather a few times now it seems - you have viewed my comments as you have, because you are sensitive and cannot take criticism, no matter how it is intended.
i still have no idea why you seem to feel that any variation whatsoever on the word ''accusation'' is relevant here, but that says more about you than me really....
i would be interested in you pointing out exactly where i have flashed my ego here?
i realise this comment was very likely just a lame and desperate attempt to have a dig at me, but given that I am not the one who so arrogantly came on here asking for people to comment on a passage of utter dirge that i have written (of which i am unfathomably proud) and then become indignant and uppity that it was not treated as a work of literary genius, i rather think ego flashing is your thing, not mine.
i would suggest you re-read these posts again in a week or so, when you have calmed down, and you will see them for what they are and perhaps even be grateful that someone bothered their arse to give you and your drivel the time of day.
any way, i think we have both rather said all we can here, i for one, am losing the will to live with this post, so i wish you good luck in your career, and i look forward to reading your first saucy novel... i assume i will be on the list for a complementary signed copy?...lol
i still have no idea why you seem to feel that any variation whatsoever on the word ''accusation'' is relevant here, but that says more about you than me really....
i would be interested in you pointing out exactly where i have flashed my ego here?
i realise this comment was very likely just a lame and desperate attempt to have a dig at me, but given that I am not the one who so arrogantly came on here asking for people to comment on a passage of utter dirge that i have written (of which i am unfathomably proud) and then become indignant and uppity that it was not treated as a work of literary genius, i rather think ego flashing is your thing, not mine.
i would suggest you re-read these posts again in a week or so, when you have calmed down, and you will see them for what they are and perhaps even be grateful that someone bothered their arse to give you and your drivel the time of day.
any way, i think we have both rather said all we can here, i for one, am losing the will to live with this post, so i wish you good luck in your career, and i look forward to reading your first saucy novel... i assume i will be on the list for a complementary signed copy?...lol
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