divorce

[oxbanker]

I have found out that my wife has been having an affair. can we split all the assets 50/50 & i continue to pay maintenance for the children. Will I be liable to pay anything to her? We have been married for 25 years

[tiny e.a]

I'm afraid I don't know but if you ask in the law section you may find more people able to answer your question who wouldn't look in this section. Worth a try!

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, why would you wanna give her anything, let alone 50/50. As soon as she finds out your gonna split anything she will be expecting 90/10 on her behalf.
If i was you i would try and get what funds you can together,slowly, and place them in a trusted friends account and plot your departure.
Make out as though your trying to make a go of it, not letting on that you want to split. As soon as you have enough funds then do what you say with what is left. I know it will be hard to live with her during this time but it will be worth it in the end...

[ummmm]

Actually MrBen speaks wise words.

At the end of it though I do believe that you are only responsible for the children and their welfare as I presume you do not live in America????

[pastafreak]

You can split everything 50/50 as that is the fairest way in the eyes of the law. As far as maintainence is concerned it would depend on your wifes financial situation...does she have a job or a source of income...how much has she contributed to the marriage? If you have been married 25 years I would guess you are both in your 50's...if she doesn't work her chances of getting a well paid job are slim. You could agree to pay her maintenence for a specific period...you may also have to assign her part of your pension(private) or her state pension will be based on yours. This is all theoretical..there are so many possibilities. Your best bet if you do not want to get lawyers involved is to go to a mediator who will act as an impartial middle-man and help resolve any differences......before you go thru all this maybe you should talk about what has brought all this about.

[lady_p_gold]

You have to take any sort of blame out of the equation and look at it logically. If you have had a long marriage then it is quite likely that your wife may actually get a larger share if she has to house the children (although they may be grown up if you have been married that long) She will be able to be awarded half your pension in her own right probably and if the children are in full time education you may still have to pay her maintenance. Whether or not she is having or has had an affair will not affect things, all your debts and assets will be put into a pot and divided, either by your agreement or by the Court (with solicitors taking a big chunk) depending on each of your needs.